Now comes the juicy stuff.
Cum with me now as I explore my sweet little lavender Fun Factory Meany, which I introduced to you yesterday. Between the addition of sex toys to my masturbatory practices and my Master's guidance in how to relax into enjoying the sensations of my body, on top of the increase in orgasms he is allotting me, my involvement with EdenFantasys has brought me many welcome pleasures. And more important still, it has added to the sadist's pleasure
Do be assured, though, that if I don't like something I'll let you know!
My interactions with the Meany began the day before The Brutal Beating of April 12th. The sadist ordered me to explore the little G-spot vibrator ahead of time, especially the controls, so I would be able to use it without hesitation during his visit.
And that I did. I think that's all I'll say about that, as thinking about that awful afternoon is making me feel very tense and upset.
On to the other times.
Two days after the beating, he e-mailed: "Test your new device and your pussy tonight." Test my pussy, which had been so badly beaten with the spoons that it showed clear signs of bruising. Did it still work? Could I stand to stimulate it? Since the beating, I'd had no erotic interest in my pussy whatsoever.
Before I share the comments I made as I was masturbating, it seems I do have to explain what happened with the mini Meany that day. Two things. The first was how the sadist then and always instructs me to relax into the pleasure. Not to force it. Not to push. Just as when I am sucking him and caressing him there are ways I bring him down so that his pleasure is prolonged. Ultimately, he wants to cum. But it's the process, the journey, that really matters.
The second thing was that he took a first, small step on the long path of teaching me to associate pain and pleasure. Badly beaten, in pain and shock, I was ordered to stand before him with my new vibrator lodged in my pussy. Sitting on the end of the bed, he pulled me to him, pressing against my very sore butt cheeks. To my surprise, it didn't hurt anywhere near as much as I expected. I've been obsessing about this ever since. I've been having fantasies of being subjected to nipple torture while being pleasured by my little lavender lover, my tolerance for pain raised by the sweet attentions paid to my pussy. To my mind, he was teaching me about the analgesic effects of arousal. His goal is different, though - to teach me to connect pleasure and pain. It will be a very long and slow process. His lessons are always very slow, very gradual, and thus very effective.
On to my real time report:
I am starting now, my Lord.
I'm curious as to whether it will hurt.
And I'm remembering the lesson you taught me about arousal and and pain, my Lord. It was such a contrast to what you had just put me through. My Master as my teacher, my guide, my mentor... there was something almost kind about you as you led me through the experiment, so that even after all you had made me suffer from punishment pain, I was wanting to explore more of this other kind of pain. And the curious inter-relationship between pain and pleasure.
The mind is a very odd system, my Lord.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Naked now, my Lord.
My outer pussy lips are starting to hurt now, as if contact with the air is aggravating the bruising. Very strange, my Lord.
I again reviewed the instructions and hope I can get the programs right. It sounds straightforward, but you have to progress from one to the other with the right amount of pressure on the button.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A brief pause to report as I head into outer space, my Lord.
This is a lovely creature, my Lord.
A very lovely creature.
I love the texture - soft and even more velvety than the last one. And while small in length, it has vibrations that extend solidly up and down the entire shaft.
For now, my Lord, I'm just using it on the outside. I was obviously nervous about that, but went ahead and deliberately applied it to the bruised areas on the labia majora. No pain. Then I laid it along the length of the slit... delicious... and also applied it directly to the clitoris. No pain, just sweet pleasure.
I am trying to keep your instructions in mind, my Lord, to just give myself to the pleasure, to the sensations, not to force it...
And then, my Lord, I felt myself going there. To that place. To that place. The place where you put me, where I am yours, where I am intensely yours, even though all I was trying to do was give myself to the sensations in my pussy...
I was impressed by the other device, my Lord.
But this one is inspiring warm affection.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The experiment, my Lord!
The pain tolerance experiment!
Having already stopped to report, I ran off for a quick pee break. Since the beating, my Lord, it has been hurting horribly every time I sit down on anything. Sitting down and getting up. So I very carefully lowered myself down onto the toilet seat - and guess what?! Well, of course you don't have to guess, you know, or why would I be mentioning it.
Much less pain.
Some discomfort, perhaps, but much less pain.
And now, back on the bed, the same thing, my Lord.
Maybe, next time I go for my allergy shots, I should stick my little vibrator in first?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Typing through hazy eyes, my Lord...
The device is tucked between my inner lips and vibrating on the first, slowest pattern... when I sat up to write my butt barely felt the pain at all... the way the pretty little thing is pulsing, it feels as if I were being fucked...it feels as if it is moving within me... vroom.... vroom.... vroom...
I feel you watching me, my Lord... you are watching me... observing me... directing me... I feel your eyes on my face, my Lord... and on my tits as they rise and fall... and you are enjoy my little whimpers of pleasure... and soon you will hurt me except it won't hurt that much at all and you will be thinking about how now you can hurt me more... for your pleasure...
And you are fucking me, my Lord.
are fucking me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It's embedded inside me, my Lord.
The whole thing is inside me.
I was lying there with it embedded inside my dripping wet pussy
and I was stroking my clitoris
and remembering how you spoke of torturing my nipples...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Finally, my Lord, I just wanted to cum.
So I took the device out of my pussy and it was HOT.
Hot from my body.
Hot from my pussy.
And I used it to massage my clitoris and I came and cried and rested a bit but didn't let myself fall asleep or I wouldn't be able to sleep later.
And then, my Lord, my pussy felt sore.
But the masturbation is still having an analgesic effect on the pain from the beating and I'm sitting up in bed and feeling more a dull ache rather than serious pain. Although it's already starting to come back. The pain. In my left butt cheek.
Thank you, my Lord.
Thank you for allowing me to masturbate
Thank you for allowing me to masturbate for YOU.
And thank you for being part of my review project.
I'm feeling very owned right now, my Lord.
Even as the pain returns...
And oddly... very oddly... I'm welcoming the return of the pain.
It reminds me of you.
The sadist then gave me permission to use the above in the review. When I asked if he had anything to add, he supplied only this: "My only reminder would be that you commented on the velvety 'real' texture adding an extra component." This referred to both the external texture and to the sort of squooshiness of the end, which made it kind of like a real penis. I was quite delighted with that, and had given it to him to feel.
I had permission to play with it again that Saturday - see how good he was to me after beating me so horribly? However, I won't share with you the report I sent him, as it was all much too intimate and private. Except for this, which will give you some perspective on my technique and enjoyment:
A perfect afternoon for taking my pussy back to bed, my Lord. Dark and stormy..
I have 2 sets of goals, my Lord. For the review, I will focus on the controls, the size of the device, and especially the strength of the vibrations. It really isn't all that strong, less than the other one, I think, but it serves me well. There was no doubt what to answer when you asked [which one I wanted to use]. It feels very comfortable. Sweet. A friend. And yet the pleasure is so beautiful...
The other goal, my Lord, is to continue my exploration of giving myself to sensations and pleasure without forcing response. Without pushing myself towards orgasm. The way you have been teaching, my Lord. No performance anxiety. Which makes sense especially for me with a vibrator, my Lord. Because if I just really needed to get off fast, I'd stick to my fingers. Very efficient. Dependable. Stroke, rub, boom.
I had one more outing with the Meany prior to writing this review, courtesy of the generosity of the sadist: "You may masturbate over the weekend if you like, using any equipment you choose, or none. Climaxing is allowed, but is not a requirement."
I was glad for the permission, not only because our conversations had made me crazy horny, but because I wanted to do a comparison between my new little Meany and the Siena Symphony, which I had also enjoyed.
As we were e-mailing that day, he wrote:
As I said yesterday, you may masturbate. See the experience as an offering to me, not like a treasure chest, laboriously lugged in and dumped at my feet, but like a bouquet of flowers, gently picked while aimlessly wandering through a spring meadow.
I've never thought of the whole treasure chest of orgasms being dragged to your feet, my Lord. Rather one orgasm removed and cherished. Still, that is a much more focused and goal-oriented activity. I like yours so much better - both as a metaphor and as a guide.
I will wander happily through the meadow of little pleasures and bring it to you with an armload of kisses.
And so I did.
I love having so much to call on.
Two different vibrators
plus my fingers
and a mind full of fantasies.
The variety encourages me to explore and enjoy.
To swim in the pleasures of my body.
The way the sadist is teaching me.
The way that pleases him.
Which is what matters most of all.