"Feel what I am feeling," he said.
And I did.
Just like that.
With a slight shift of focus.
It wasn't a completely new idea. I've done something a little like that before. After divorce #2, after I'd moved back out East, back when I was suddenly free to hope that I would maybe, somehow, finally satisfy the desire that was so deep that it hurt.
The desire to finally be with a woman.
And - I hoped - more.
But that's another story.
What happened one day, as I lay in bed touching myself, was that I wanted to feel it from the other end. I wanted to feel what it would be like to caress a woman. I wanted to know what someone would feel if she were touching me.
So I switched the focus of my brain into my hand.
And I felt it.
Nipples so tempting.
I was shy about touching my pussy that way.
Mostly I remember caressing my breasts.
They were so very, very soft...
For this lesson with my Master, I had to take it one step further. As I touched him, as I licked him, as I sucked him, I put my mind inside his body. Instead of focusing on what I was doing, I started to feel what I was doing. I was his cock. I felt my tongue, licking "I love you." I felt the pull of my sucking - first tender, then deep. I felt the scrape of my teeth on one side as my tongue pressed hard against the other. I felt the tip of my tongue lazily circling the tip of his cock which was now almost my cock because I felt it.
I felt it.
And he felt that I felt it.
He felt the difference.
A deeper yielding.
He caressed my tit, so sweetly, so gently, and I felt what his hand felt as it touched me, treasured me, marvelled at my vulnerable softness.
Then he said, "Feel my enjoyment of you."
And he kissed me.
With him, a kiss is never just a kiss.
A kiss is never without thought.
And I felt it.
I felt his enjoyment of me.
I was his mouth enjoying my mouth, which took me somewhat outside my self yet made me even more present. I didn't float away on my pleasure. I focused on his pleasure. Which resulted in my giving myself even more to his pleasure. Which he felt.
And oh... the intimacy. I felt his pleasure and mine even more intertwined... the bramble and the rose...
And when he smacked my bottom, I felt the sting of the impact on his palm.
I was amazed.
He showed me a whole new world.
How could I have known there was anything as beautiful as this?!
You really must try it.
Even in a vanilla relationship.
I do know that for many of you it may not be as easy as for me. I'm horrendously suggestible. I'm such easy prey. But it's worth working on. You'll see...
I was such a good girl. He rewarded me with permission to masturbate. So I did. Still naked, with the heavy steel chain wrapped around and around my neck, I gathered my toys and went upstairs to my bed. As I slid my vibrating little lavender Meany inside my ever-so-soft and moist pussy, I slid my mind inside the short, slender, silicone cock - still my favorite toy of them all. And I felt myself. I felt the slippery velvet of me. I felt my muscles closing and holding and sucking. And then my mind went inside my fingers, and felt the swollen desire of my labia, and how my clitoris smiled and melted under my touch.
I felt myself being enjoyed.
I felt the pleasure being taken from me.
I felt it
and I opened to it
and I surrendered.
I gave it all to you, my Master.
It all belongs to you.