tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1165603762522014470.post6831281689203197182..comments2023-08-17T11:04:19.748-04:00Comments on submission & metaphor: Cognitive dissonance and BDSMoatmeal girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12842608615972752000noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1165603762522014470.post-13253699749107334112011-09-27T16:38:07.282-04:002011-09-27T16:38:07.282-04:00now this is interesting because it wasn't the ...now this is interesting because it wasn't the slave bit that grated with me.<br /><br />there's been various discussions on various blogs about the use of the term of slave, in regards to r/l slavery and all that, so I guess now, when I see the term on a BDSM blog I atomatically do the 'ah, it's consential' bit in my head.<br /><br />No, what got me, was that you were beaten because you smiled. Now I understand why, as dear Mr Fiend was very clear and you were very clear in reporting this reasons, so it was a case of me projecting myself and my relationship into it I suppose - me smiling is a pleasing thing to Papacrow (or so I'm a assured) and I'm encouraged to do so as much as possible.<br /><br />I was interested that no-one else mentioned finding that bit difficult!mamacrowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16484565827023574347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1165603762522014470.post-74559410887954046602011-09-26T22:00:25.876-04:002011-09-26T22:00:25.876-04:00Thank you all for your comments. I do hope there w...Thank you all for your comments. I do hope there will be more. As expected, the title was not a very good marketing tool. Accurate, perhaps, but not very effective at attracting readers.<br /><br />I did try to come up with a sexy, alluring title for the post, but finally said "Fuck it" and went for honesty.<br /><br />As for cognitive dissonance itself, it's a concept that has fascinated me since I first learned about it. But note that an integral part of the definition is the anxiety one feels from the contradictory ideas. What fascinates me even more are those people who hold contradictory opinions, are utterly oblivious to the contradiction, and feel no anxiety whatsoever. I'll refrain from giving examples, as I'm sure you can all come up with some of your own.<br /><br />Thanks again for weighing in and helping to continue the discussion.<br /><br />o.g.oatmeal girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12842608615972752000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1165603762522014470.post-72887176488951016692011-09-26T20:40:45.954-04:002011-09-26T20:40:45.954-04:00Now, this is fascinating. I understand just what ...Now, this is fascinating. I understand just what goodgirl meant. I think there can only be a few of us who have not gone through the agony of wondering why we crave what we crave, when, as happens from time to time, we are enjoying any of a number of acts - beating, humiliation, boot-licking, being our Daddy Dom's little baby girl - and suddenly, a bulletin arrives in our brains urgently advising that this is BAD, WRONG and TERRIBLE, and that we should be grateful for the fact that we are not subject to such dreadful treatment.<br /><br />I know it's put me right off things from time to time. So I definitely understand that aspect.<br /><br />But, surely, it's a matter of context? If we recast the sentence to read, "Whether for punishment or pleasure,<br />a man (in a consensual BDSM relationship) has the right to beat his (consensual) slave," it becomes dreadful, stilted English, but clarifies the context. Oddly, when I responded to the post, I took that sentence as a given.<br /><br />And yet, I lie awake nights, fretting, as do many of us, (it seems, at least on a cursory reading, that a lot of us involved in these activities are fearfully socially aware), about those "real" problems in the world.<br /><br />The ones that sometimes, (Oh, outrageous irony!), sometimes, in our private context, turn us on unbearably. <br /><br />So it didn't even penetrate, as I read it. Odd.<br /><br />I thought, myself, that Latona nailed it, in her response to this post. And, I truly enjoyed what everyone brought to the discussion, and hope not to have offended anyone. Whew. Compelling subject, OG. - jcnAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1165603762522014470.post-38416604943175635242011-09-26T05:12:10.945-04:002011-09-26T05:12:10.945-04:00This is all so poignant for me this morning. I thi...This is all so poignant for me this morning. I think I was in some sort of "cognitive dissonance" state myself this morning for I was, you see, cindi. My "owner" reminded me many times that I was an object and that an object just accepts what happens to her/it. I bunkered down into my sweet spot where I do indeed just accept and that provided with a lovely state of freedom.<br /><br />I think your initial statement is just fine as it relates to a healthy relationship where you know you can trust your partner completely. I know I can. <br /><br />In terms of all other relationships, where there is a good chance of emotional and physical harm, the statement does, of course, raise issues. I think I know Good Girl well enough to say that she would agree with this. But, we shall see...Vestahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03677044322646962128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1165603762522014470.post-47809495444393893992011-09-26T00:59:18.555-04:002011-09-26T00:59:18.555-04:00I loved this post. I have often felt myself in tha...I loved this post. I have often felt myself in that state of cognitive dissonance for various reasons. Definitely the feelings derived from being mastered incite a great deal of internal conflict. However I wasn't bothered at all by the remark that a man has a right to beat his slave. Because the word slave encompasses all those rights, it's not synonymous for other things. A man doesn't have the right to beat his woman, his pet, his children, or his mate. But his slave is another creature, and there lies the beauty, to me of the dynamic. The right to such things also bears a responsibility, don't forget.Danger Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04662343314890000956noreply@blogger.com