tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1165603762522014470.post7547823140381266719..comments2023-08-17T11:04:19.748-04:00Comments on submission & metaphor: The risks of being submissiveoatmeal girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12842608615972752000noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1165603762522014470.post-44627851789779002032008-06-23T23:24:00.000-04:002008-06-23T23:24:00.000-04:00thanks to you all for your kind reassurance. perse...thanks to you all for your kind reassurance. <BR/><BR/>persephone, i just LOVE your reference to "regressing [or not] into protoplasm." i do think our trust levels are pretty high, though i'm so disgustingly insecure underneath that i do worry sometimes. but that is often based on my own fears, not on reality.<BR/><BR/>paul, we most definitely fill each other's needs, and we have definitely inspired each other to grow.<BR/><BR/>and yes, amy, especially after my wretched marital history, it continues to astound me the way he takes care of me, and accepts my weaknesses, and of course, i accept his as well.<BR/><BR/>i read him this post over the phone shortly after i put it up. and we are both responding to it as an issue outside of D/s. his response told me that i wasn't totally neurotic in being concerned. i can't remember his exact words at this point, but basically he praised me for my perceptive analysis, and said that he would keep an eye on things so we could head off any problem before it got out of hand. <BR/><BR/>i pulled myself together since then, through a variety of means, and feel i am maintaining a good balance of strength and melting submissiveness.<BR/><BR/>i do think that developing and maintaining any kind of relationship, especially one like ours with so many possible pitfalls, takes a lot of vigilance. we must ambush problems before they ambush us.<BR/><BR/>meanwhile, my hair is now long enough for little ponytails, which make me look (and feel) disgustingly cute and nowhere near that age that i see no need to say out loud since i have well over a half year till i must confront it...<BR/><BR/>thanks again for your support.oatmeal girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12842608615972752000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1165603762522014470.post-63382284724952295372008-06-22T17:30:00.000-04:002008-06-22T17:30:00.000-04:00Oh boy, you sound so much like me, oatmeal girl! ...Oh boy, you sound so much like me, oatmeal girl! It's so hard sometimes to accept that, after a lifetime of being the strong one and the support for others, that someone actually WANTS you to need them. I still wrestle with it regularly. It's harder, I'm sure, with the distance between you, but your Philosopher sounds like a wonderful man. And persephone is right that you need to remember everything you give him too.<BR/><BR/>xoAmyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1165603762522014470.post-39513098915505619832008-06-17T12:20:00.000-04:002008-06-17T12:20:00.000-04:00Oatmeal Girl, this is why a Master takes on a slav...Oatmeal Girl, this is why a Master takes on a slave, or a Dom a sub, each fulfils the others needs, if this isn't happening than the relationship will fail.<BR/>Your Philosopher needs you just as much as you need Him.<BR/>You are the soil in which He grows, He is the soil in which you grow.<BR/>If you are a challenge, He needs that to strengthen Him, He stretches your limits, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically, this is how you grow.<BR/>He needs you to need Him, it's not to much, in your heart you know this.<BR/>Warm hugs,<BR/>Paul.Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03790580459962602757noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1165603762522014470.post-83901420575346551592008-06-17T08:23:00.000-04:002008-06-17T08:23:00.000-04:00dear oatmeal girl,hang on. it's okay. think of a...dear oatmeal girl,<BR/><BR/>hang on. it's okay. think of all of the times that you *have* been the strong one. you've been there for the philosopher... you've helped him and you've stood by him. you *are* capable of putting aside your neediness if you have to, and you aren't regressing into protoplasm. <BR/><BR/>you're allowed to have needs, and if your philosopher is anything like my owner, he enjoys your needs. you're needy, you're helpless, you're vulnerable... that's just fodder for fantasy! it lets him play the role that he enjoys, the one where he is a hero, in charge, firm but loving. the one where he really can make things better.<BR/><BR/>with my owners, the only time my neediness wears on them is if i don't trust. if they start feeling like their hard work of caring for me is for naught because i'll stay distraught regardless. i need to trust them, and do what they say, and internalize their reassurances. i need to do exactly as they tell me. this is all that they need to feel fulfilled by their care of me instead of exhausted. well, that and my ongoing worship and devotion. :)<BR/><BR/>i think maybe you need to trust, or the two of you need to talk about whether it's safe to have that kind of trust. he needs to trust you too-- he has to trust that you will do as he says. and you have to trust that he will keep your best interests in mind, and that he will tell you if he wants something changed. i think that's essential to our letting go, right? and it's essential for his authority that he know you will obey.<BR/><BR/>don't worry. just communicate. your needs are NOT too much.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com