I found the magic word.
Monday night I was out with M--, my best female friend and canvassing partner. The main reason I moved to DC. We drove over to the concert together and talked about how things were going. I spoke of my struggles with the upcoming birthday. (My demon muse loves it when I use the word "struggles.")
Now M-- is telepathic, although she seems to have blind spots in certain areas. Luckily... She never seems to have picked up my wild side... She is also a fierce believer in the ultimate success of my relationship with the philosopher. As is my doctor. Can they really know better than either of us?
Anyway, she kept tossing out ideas, reasons why I should feel happy about the upcoming Big Birthday. None of them clicked. In fact, they clicked so little that I can't remember any of them. So I thanked her and said it was just a matter of the right thing coming along, that would make it all click and give me peace about it.
And then poof! It happened. It all connected.
Barack Obama.
Everything comes back to Barack Obama.
As we approached the secular, calendar, goyishe new year, I got into saying that for me, the beginning of the new year would be on January 20th. Inauguration Day. And indeed, it did feel like things changed on that day. The world feels like a better place. A nicer place. Somehow gentler, softer, there are these smiles on people's face here around Washington, DC.
And then it connected. Because yes, this IS a year of wonderful new beginnings. And that - in a leap of amazing illogic - allowed me to feel that turning 60 was a positive milestone. Because I am turning 60 the same year that Barack Obama took office. The year that we took back our country.
Yes, I know, it makes no sense whatsoever. But it works. So I'm not arguing.
And then as a final bit of icing on the top, I went to renew my driver's license today. I was not happy about this. It had been 10 years since the last one, which had a particularly lovely picture. I dreaded seeing this one, with me older and fatter.
Except you know what? This one came out looking younger than the one from 10 years ago! I think it's this unruly mop of rebellious red curls. Or something. Perhaps the restoration of my relationship with my demon muse. I have been floating around subspace (have you seen me fly by?) feeling very young and very small and very very submissive.
So I'll be fine on Monday. As long as I don't freak out from catching sight of my profile on FetLife and realizing that it has clicked over from 59F to 60F.
On the other hand, a 35 year old nice Jewish doctor just approached me from my profile there. Maybe THAT's what the new 60 is...
Yee-ha!
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9 comments:
Happy birthday, and I am sending every wish for a spirit raising, leg spreading, love-filled year for you x.
OG. happy birthday, may the coming year be your best ever.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Thanks you two, tho the second time I'm reading the greetings from thedirtyblonde I find myself thinking of a dog at a fire hydrant rather than a horny slut taking on all the young studs...
Of course, the actual birthday isn't until next Monday, so I'll have plenty of opportunity to become depressed about it again. However, Obama tends to be a very reliable mood-lifter, so I'm hoping he will continue to do the job and Monday will see my happy and triumphant.
it makes sense to me. it does feel like a new day since obama took office, even over here in canada. i'm glad you're feeling it on a more personal level as well. :)
i hope you have a lovely birthday.
It makes TOTAL sense! i'm banging my head on the desk that I didn't think of it to say to you first! duh!
I'm not saying happy birthday, because I have EVERY intention of coming by on Monday and saying it :) (barring fire, flood, teething, etc etc)
Hope you had a lovely birthday, Oatmeal Girl! (Sorry, deleted other comment because of poor grammar!)
A nice, jewish doctor? *bemused* Well, i hope he isn't too nice, if you follow me.
Happy Birthday, dearest. may the coming days and months bring you all you hope for.
baby_girl - I'm always fascinated to hear of responses to his election from other countries. And around here, I continue to receive confirmation from others that people are nicer to each other now.
mamacrow - now don't go beating yourself about the head. unless you have a freezer full of frozen peas to put on it afterwards.
Isabella - how very thoughtful of you to delete the bad grammar. You know how intolerant I am of such things. Tsk tsk.
Elspeth - the nice Jewish doctor wasn't quite nice enough. Meaning he saw and heard what he wanted to see and hear. Sometimes you have to shove your situation in a guy's face and up his ass before he'll realize you are just not as available as he'd like to believe you are. But that's ok. I have plenty to deal with as it is. Except that it's such a beautiful Sunday that I wish the time I spent with the philosopher today could have been in person rather than by e-mail. Still it was better than nothing. I promised to be patient and so I must be.
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