Surfeit

I am so tired.
I am ever so tired.

I think of the men in my life and my pussy starts pulsing and my cunt starts convulsing, and my heart softens and my panties grow soggy and the idea of summoning up the physical energy to actually be with any of them is totally impossible to entertain.

Hell, I'm flooding just from writing the last paragraph. And of course I'm not allowed to masturbate without permission as the sadist owns my orgasms...

hmmm... in addition to having permission - nay, encouragement - from the philosopher to see other people, I have permission from the sadist as well, with the footnote that he doesn't really think the permission is his to give. Still, to my mind it is, so I asked. But. If he owns my orgasms, do I have to ask to be allowed to cum when I'm with the Irishman? not that this has been an issue so far...

I do love the idea that there are these two men who've been wanting me while I've been sick and they just have to wait. Of course, I would much rather have been well and submissive than be able to enjoy this short-lived sense of power.

On top of all this... ah, fantasies... there is this woman who very occasionally turns up at my synagogue... I've had a crush on her since I first saw her... cute, smart, dynamic, artistic, feminist, progressive... she came for Purim services last night, welcomed me to sit next to her, sat close up against me with a lot of unnecessary physical contact which neither of us shied away from... it was nice to be reminded that I really am bi... although the idea of explaining my social life to her... Oy! In any case, I was very bold and added her to my Facebook friends list. For me, that's pretty brave and aggressive.

OK, now I've made myself utterly and completely horny. I sure as hell hope I'm stronger soon. My demon muse wants to pay me a lunchtime visit this week...