Pain

loss
hurts.
need
hurts.
i thought
i'd found it.
i thought
we had it.
wishful thinking.

i wanted it so badly,
i built it from my need.

i had a rough day.
i was sweet and kind
and there
for a man who called.
a man in pain.
much worse pain than i'm in.
and i cried when we hung up
and sorted out my grief
and wished i had a lover
as in someone who loved me
whose job it was
to care for me
and i'd be there
to care for him.

not a chance.

still.
it could be worse.
i am treasured
and i am owned
and i
am being trained
to serve
his needs.
and in his cage
i'll find some peace.

at least i'll know where and who i am.