Saturday, February 28, 2015

It's over

The beast was in heat and came to sate his hunger, following a long and welcome absence. This was always a possibility. There were no assurances otherwise. In fact, there were repeated warnings that I should never assume I was safe.

The beast is not welcome here.

But meals are prix fixe.
The chef sets the menu.
There are no substitutions.
It's all or nothing.

And so
I'm walking away.

I feel strong.
Proud of myself.
Strong and proud and beautiful and sad.

And I know I'll never find another you.


mc kitten said...


really sorry to hear this, but yes - go you! You are strong and I am proud of you too xx

Lea said...

I feel for you.

It can be really hard to walk away from something, or someone that makes you feel. But sometimes you know its not the right thing for you and continuing on just tears you up.

I wish good things for you.

oatmeal girl said...

Thanks so much to you both. I badly need the support as I fight the urge to crawl back. I know it was the right decision. There is so much that is good about the man, goodness that he likes to deny. But there is also this very dark side. A side he cannot control and sometimes embraces. By his own account the incident was not something he deliberately planned.

Over the course of 6-1/2 years there were in fact very few incidents that made me want to run. Very few. But right now I feel great sympathy for women who are not able to leave an abusive relationship.