Sunday, September 28, 2008


Some people have too much power for their own good.

No. Let me rephrase that. Because obviously having that much power does THEM a lot of good. It's the people against whom they wield their excessive power that need to worry.

And of course I'm not talking about "some people." I'm talking about one person. One man, the fiend, the collector, my demon muse, my sadistic Svengali.

I think I should be calling him The Wizard.

Or better still - The Sorcerer.

There are certain items that live at my house for when he allows me to serve him. For when he trains me to fulfill his goals for me.

There is a chain.

And there is a cane.

This is no surprise. I have referred to these items before, and they are not unusual items in a sadist's box of toys.

Except, of course, that they are not toys.
This is not a game.
We do not play.

There are things that he does to me with the chain...

And the cane? Well, you all know what one does with a cane.

Except that the Sorcerer has done something more. He seems to have bewitched them. Or me. I'm not exactly sure which. Perhaps both. What I AM sure of is that he has me scared.

I first discovered what he had done last Friday.

I have specific instructions as to where the chain is to live and what condition I must be in when I touch it. This, however, put me in a quandary, as friends were coming over for the first of my traditional debate parties, and I feared someone might catch sight of it when they went down the hall to the bathroom. The fiend, being as concerned about hiding our interactions from inappropriate attention as I am, readily gave permission to do what needed to be done to relocate the revealing objects. So without a thought, I moved the heavy length of chain into the drawer of the bedside table, and then reached out to move the cane from where it stood propped against the headboard.

That's when the trouble began.

I'm describing this all in a very lighthearted manner, but that's more a case of whistling in the dark than anything else. This whole thing really scares me. Scared me then and scares me worse now.

My fingers closed around the cane.
And I shivered.
I started having these little convulsions.
Little earthquake twitches of my whole body
Tears rose up into the base of my throat.
The little convulsions kept coming.
I think by this time I had put the cane in the closet and was sitting on the bed, computer on my lap, trying to tell him what was happening, except I kept having these little... almost like little seizures.

And then I started cumming.
I had one little orgasm after another.
They were small, but they were definitely orgasms.

And then I started to cry.
Just like after an orgasm.

I can't remember if the effect was repeated when I put the items back later that night. But I know what happened today, when I again had to put them away for a while.

The contagion has spread. It is no longer just the cane. It happens with the chain as well. Just reaching out my finger, touching the cold hard metal... the shiver... the sharp shake of my body... the convulsions following one hard on the other... the orgasms... the sobs...

It is now dangerous to touch both the chain and the cane, whether to hide them from prying eyes or to bring them back to where I can see them from the bed. I brought the chain back out and the reaction was so strong that I was truly afraid to touch the cane. I opened the closet door and just stood there, looking at it, head propped against the wall, afraid to reach my hand out, shivering at the thought of reaching my hand out, shivering at being so close to it.

As I have said before, I am no longer afraid of HIM. But I am starting to be afraid of what he can do. I am afraid of his power. I am afraid of his control - the control he already has and what it will grow into.

I am afraid. But that doesn't mean I am stopping. I have no intention of stopping. I'm too far gone. My submission is as absolute as is his ownership. I am not his slave but he owns me nevertheless. I am his creation, I am his pet, I am his toy, and I rejoice in what he is making of me.

And if that means I gradually lose control over my mind and my body, so be it. Adventures like this one don't come along all that often.

And I walk through the world with shining eyes.


Anonymous said...


Paul said...

Oatmeal Girl, you are one lucky girl.
Warm hugs,

mamacrow said...

oh gosh. interesting and... yeah,, where is this going?!

you are wise to dwell in the moment and enjoy the journey...

My naughty thoughts said...

I am just blown intense! Wow, just wow.

oatmeal girl said...

yes, you're all right. frightening, intense... even more so to live through than to read.

and i have absolutely no idea where it is going. except the Sorcerer did not seem at all surprised.

mamacrow said...

I bet he didn't!!!