I feel good about my writing. I'm proud of it and don't really need other people to tell me that it's good.
Except I LIKE being told by other people that it's good. Especially by other writers.
Now that feels a little scary, to speak of "other writers." But I'm getting used to it. And certainly my sadistic Svengali is helping with that. And what also helps is when someone writes me out of the blue and asks if he can include one or more of my pieces on his site.
This happened just the other day, when I received this message from A PUBLISHED WRITER. (You know, as in published on paper, as in I actually have a volume of erotica with one of his stories in it and I recognized his name!)
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Howdy! I really like your site and would like to exchange links with you.
My own blog, Frequently Felt, is "A lobcock of erotic trivialities, oddities, and miscellanea transcribed with jaundiced talent for naught but a boxing Jesuit indulgence by a disreputable posse mobilitatis" which is silly-speak for a blog featuring fun and weird sex stuff.
I often feature articles on sex and sexuality like reviews, interviews, erotic artists, podcasts and videoclips. Please feel free to use any of this content as long as you reference it came from me. I, of course, will do the same.
As M.Christian I am also an extensively published celebrity author of erotica ... "with more than 300 stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica, and many, many other anthologies, magazines, and Web sites. He is the editor of 20 anthologies including the Best S/M Erotica series, The Burning Pen, Guilty Pleasures, and others. He is the author of the collections Dirty Words, Speaking Parts, The Bachelor Machine, and Filthy; and the novels Running Dry, The Very Bloody Marys, Me2, Brushes, and Painted Doll."
Please feel free to check out my home site at www.mchristian.com for information on my works and other fun erotic stuff.
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So I checked out the sites, and they seemed safe enough (meaning I didn't think he was trying to steal the products of my occasional bursts of perverted inspiration), and decided ok, I'll let him have The Performance. And not only did he forward me a lovely little comment proving that the story had achieved at least part of what it was designed to do ("Yes, that was a good one, felt myself growing stiff...."), and flatter me by calling it "a great story", but he ended up sending a horde of horny readers to me.
I'd like to say two things at this point. The first is that, except for We Met in a Bar, none of these stories would exist without the philosopher. Even the ones I wrote by myself. They reflect our relationship, they drew on our shared fantasies, and eventually they drew on our living explorations of what had previously been no more than fantasies. My name is on them, but he is a co-author.
Maybe that's why I'm not writing any more stories. At least not at the moment. It's true that I'm spending a lot of time working on poems. Part of that is to please my demon muse, my demanding tutor who guides me with both praise and punishment. (Kitten wriggles in search of a more comfortable sitting position...) But it's not that stories are forbidden. It's only that my inspiration hasn't run that way. Even the darkest of the old stories are filled with a love and playfulness that I'm not quite ready to get back in touch with. And I do miss that. I miss writing the stories. I miss the old joint stories. And I miss the love and the playfulness.
The love is still there. It will always be there, Although I am at peace now with the break-up, and with the philosopher's reasons. And I accept his reasons, and I accept, finally, with all my heart, I do believe that it did mean something to him, and I think in fact that this was what I needed to be able to let go of the hope that things could go back to the way they were. This was what I needed to be able to move on, while still saying that he and our friendship are the most important things, and that my fiendish writing instructor is not a replacement.
All this is by way of an apology to new readers who stop this way after reading The Performance and any future stories on M. Christian's site. There are more stories listed under the label "stories", and I also encourage you to read the philosophers words under the label "philosopher." (Oh, I do stun myself with my creativity sometimes...) But for now, the new creative stuff will be by way of poetry.
There have been other fans, including a writer I met on FetLife who asked me to contribute something to a site of his (which I suppose I should be thinking about), and I have posted some of my stories on FetLife as well. I am also to be found on Love Boudoir as a "center-stage featured blog." And now I am getting really embarrassed about all this boasting, but mainly it's to call people's attention to these other sites who are being so nice to me - and to tell you other writers to check out M. Christian's blog and if you think you have anything appropriate, to send it his way. He is definitely looking for new talent.
Three more things - and please forgive me if my mind seems to be wandering tonight...
1. I get more referrals from persephone's obedience (my friend meg's blog) than from anywhere else. That's a good excuse for me to mention her in the context of this post, but really I don't need an excuse at all. She is involved in a relationship with 2 amazing people, and not only are her adventures fascinating, but her analysis of it all is thought-provoking and instructive. Do please check her out if you haven't already.
2. I forgot. Oh no, wait, I remember... more embarrassment... um... it has to do with... no. Well... it's that I really appreciate that these people want to put my stuff out there, but that the praise I get from just 2 people means more than all the rest combined... whether as those 2 precious words held dear by any submissive, or a beloved friend's "I really liked that one"... these mean more than anything. So there.
3. To my reader in A2 - I would love it if you'd e-mail me and say "Hi." GO BLUE!
And now that I've babbled on meaninglessly, I think I'll stop writing so I can go lie down on my stomach...