Thursday, August 19, 2010


re-dun-dant [ri-duhn-duhnt]

  1. characterized by verbosity or unnecessary repetition in expressing ideas; prolix: a redundant style.
  2. being in excess; exceeding what is usual or natural: a redundant part.
  3. having some unusual or extra part or feature.
  4. characterized by superabundance or superfluity: lush, redundant vegetation.
  5. Engineering - (of a structural member) not necessary for resisting statically determined stresses.
  6. Linguistics - characterized by redundancy; predictable.
  7. Computers - containing more bits or characters than are required, as a parity bit inserted for checking purposes.
  8. Chiefly British - removed or laid off from a job.
It all comes down to the same thing, really.

Like an appendix.
Or a second car you rarely use and can't afford
Not needed.

In which case, in these tight economic times, if you are wise and responsible, you jettison the extra weight that is slowing you down, that is costing you money, that no longer has a function because you are changing direction and redesigning the carriage and mixing way too many metaphors - which all translates as my having been laid off today because they are indeed eliminating my position.

This sounds a lot more bitter than I actually am. If I weren't in such serious economic difficulties I wouldn't care at all. I have felt there was not much more I could learn there and no new place for me in any growth plans. I was feeling a strong urge to be home, to spend my days reading and writing and playing music and exercising and, always, through everything, serving the sadist.

Except there is of course this little issue of paying the bills.

So given that I am still getting over this truly awful, I am really quite cheerful. The fiend was very sweet about it. All he has to say are just a few words but that are always the right words. He knows me so well, and knows just the right way to take care of me. He offered to help me develop a schedule for my days which I know I need to do.

And I know, too, that a big reason why I don't feel so devastated by this latest in a lifetime of layoffs is that he has made me feel so strong and confident and good about myself that I don't take this as any kind of judgment on my worth. And I feel good about myself not just because he values me but because he has taught me to value myself - insisted on pain of bodily harm that I had better value myself! And I do. Not just because of threats, but because he has taught me and convinced me.

Meanwhile, there is a good chance (I'm holding my breath) that I may have a new housemate come September, which will make my finances a little less awful than they might otherwise be. And I get paid through the end of that month, after which unemployment kicks in. Of course, it will be almost completely devoured by payments for heath insurance, which I absolutely cannot give up. But somehow I will manage.


Now if only I could sell 8 stories a day...


Melissa said...

Oh dear, I so understand. The awfulness of being laid off (happened to me last year) but the relief at losing a job I didn't care a fig about. All my friends tried to console'll get a better job, just wait. Good things are right around the corner for you. You're so smart and good at what you do, doors will open. All that sort of bullshit.

But guess what? For all my eye rolling, and wishing they'd just shut up and wallow with me in my misery...they were right. So right.

You too.

Anonymous said...

Well, I was going to write, that just sucks. But then it occurred to me that among subs, that is NOT a pejorative, huh? So, it stinks, so I'll just endorse what Melissa has written. Take it as a given that we're all out here, annoying you with positive comments...
In the interim, follow the fiend's instructions, (always fun, anyway), recover from illness, lick your wounds - (or whatever else comes to hand, errr, mouth!), and know that you are deeply cared for by many. - jcn

Paul said...

OG, that is bad news on the financial front, but as you intimate, good on a personal front.
It seems to me that your Sadist has had considerable success in training you, you are in a much better place emotionally than you otherwise might be.
It only remains for me to hope that you find some lawful way to remedy your fiscal situation, at least until you obtain suitable employment.
Love and warm hugs,

Sharazade said...

"...there was not much more I could learn there..."

So who exactly was redundant? Perhaps not you...

It is very hard to quit a job that isn't quite the best. A job that is adequate is one that you can stay in long past the time you perhaps should have.

Which is not to say that this is the ideal way to move on. If you haven't recently read the Steve Jobs 2005 commencement speech for Stanford (I normally like it because he talks about fonts!), it's worth a reread for his point about how sometimes you can't see the value of events in your life until you can look back at them from some distance.

oatmeal girl said...

Thank you all for your wonderful support.

Melissa, a long time ago I came up with the concept of Ultimate Faith, which professes that events which seem really unfortunate at the time may ultimately lead to something very desirable. It's just it can take quite a while to get to the pay-off.

2-1/2 years at a job is normally quite enough for me. I get bored if there are no possibilities for moving on to something more interesting within the company or organization. I was at the point where the main attraction of the job was being a mile and a half from home. I kept trying to imagine how I could stick it out for enough 6 years until I could retire at the maximum take from Social Security.

It's the being 61 with very shaky finances that makes this so scary. But somehow it will work out.

Curiously, without yet knowing the situation, the fiend happened to send me a message of "You are valuable." just as I was being delivered the news. So these were the first words I saw after it was done.

I should be panicked, but instead I mostly feel peaceful and free.

oatmeal girl said...

By the way, all, the commenter Melissa is the author of the blog "Intelligent Submission", the link to which is in my very arbitrarily selected list of places I read. She had taken a leave of absence and thus and closed the blog, but is now back and writing and open for business. Do stop by.

MrJ said...

These are the things you simply would wish not to occur. It is is striking how in sensitive some people are to words and meanings...
Hope something that settles the more prosaic side of the issue will soon turn up. Meanwhile, enjoy other realms of life.
Warm wishes,