Wednesday, September 1, 2010

In 4 sentences

I went to my writers group today.
The assignment was:
Write a complete story
in 4 sentences.
Including dialogue.
This is what I wrote.
She looked up, burnt by eyes cutting through her chain mail suit of defenses and bullshit.

"Why me?" she pleaded.

"Because I can," he said.

"Call me Ellie," she said, as she scrambled to follow him out of the café, leaving behind her life and her laptop.
They didn't get it.

6 comments:

Paul said...

OG, not really surprising, if they are not into the lifestyle.
It could be the perfect start to a D/s life together, pity about the laptop. :D
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.

Anonymous said...

I always wonder if people actually do get such vignettes, and then pretend they don't, so other people "won't know"! Taciturn and titillating, and very nice work. - jcn

oatmeal girl said...

Their speculations as to what it meant were fascinating. Was she being arrested? Kidnapped? Was he Death? Curiously, towards the end one of the guys detected a strain of dominance, and one of the women (whom I happen not to like at all) made a crack about whips and chains. Of course, I didn't reveal the truth. They know I write erotica, and had a story published, but I refuse to tell them my pen name.

What frustrated me was not so much that they didn't "guess." It was that the vagueness of it unnerved them. But then they are mainly journalists, and I'm a poet, and my mind operates on a more instinctive level. I don't necessarily need The Answer. I just flow with the underlying mood and message, even if I can't put it into words.

jcn - In fact, this is sort of what happened between me and the sadist. Two years ago from right now. Except it was on FetLife and it took all of a week. He came across my profile, saw things I didn't even know were there, wanted me, laid the trap, and had me in a week.

I didn't struggle.
Not then.
That came later.

And of course I didn't abandon my laptop. It's our lifeline.

Anonymous said...

Journalists, very correctly, want the who, what, where, when, why and how, whereas poets and writers of fiction, whether dreamy or Hemingwayesque in nature, leave much to the reader's imagination. I'll bet it was fascinating to watch them work on it, though. I did laugh when I read "...one of the guys detected a strain of dominance..." Oh, REALLY? Gee. I wonder how! It's odd how the vanilla world is hung up on the whips and chains, whereas dominance and submission are so often most perfectly expressed in tiny conversational tags, such as those you employed, or a hint of body language. They don't give us much credit for subtle, do they? - jcn

mamacrow said...

I get it :D

Oh, Journalists. I was part of writers circle for a while, and there was a journalist or two, some poets, the rest of us spread across the genres of fatasy, historical, chick lit.

Yes, they do tend to get uppity about sublty dont' they! probably cos it's their job to, as already stated...

I think they get uneasy at being asked to contribute in that way (ie, what the audience brings to the table by way of imagination)

ellie theryn said...

"Call me Ellie."

**bemused**

I'm not sure I could be in a writer's group: I tend not to like being present when my work is read.