Not submissive enough? What then?

sin asked "How do I become more submissive? How do I give him more of what he wants?" - directing her question to "you truly submissive women and men."

This elicited a spate of comments, which are worth reading. Typically, my own comment was rather different from the others - and not, perhaps, what sin was expecting to hear.

Comments, anyone? Not just on what I wrote, but on the issues themselves.

• What is a "true submissive"?
• Does such a creature actually exist?
• What does it mean to be not submissive enough?
• What can be done about it?

And here is what I had to say:

"True submissives."

I am always leery of labels. But there is no denying that I am inherently very submissive. So I guess I qualify.

But all we can do is speak from our own, personal experiences. There is no one way to be submissive. To feel submissive. And there is no one way for someone to be dominant. There is no One True Road to a satisfying D/s relationship.

But here is what has happened with me. It hasn't just been me pushing myself to change, to yield, to give more, to sink deeper. The sadist has brought me to where I am. He has a plan. A long, detailed, ever growing and evolving plan. For real! It is written down, with specific steps leading to specific goals. In an orderly fashion, he has been exploring different aspects of who I am, what he has seen in me, who he wants me to be with him, what he wants me to do. Sometimes when he visits, it is purely to serve his pleasure. But often his visit is a lesson, part of the process, and he has worked out ahead of time what he will do and what he expects to achieve.

Yes, I work hard for him. Yes, I have grown and changed and also embraced things that were already deep inside me that I never knew were there. Realizing I was his baby girl is a prime example of that. He brought me to the point that I saw it myself - something he had seen when he first discovered me. And it took 2 YEARS to get to that point. If he had just said back then, or even a year ago - "Call me Daddy and be my baby girl", I would have had a very hard time following through.

I am his project.
I am his creation.
He nurtures what I am.
He trains me to please him.
He leads me into degradation.
He makes me flirt with my destruction.
He scares me half to death.
And he makes me yearn for more.

But I don't go there on my own. He shows me the way. And - another important point - he changes the plan when he sees that it isn't working. He complains, but he goes back and rewrites and redirects and slows down and eventually ends up where he wants to be anyway.

So I am not the one making myself more submissive. He does that. And by so doing, makes me want to yield more - and lures me into giving him information that allows him to further tighten the chain around my neck.

PS - I should note that he has well over 30 years experience - as a dom and as a rather extreme sadist. In that time, he has had many submissives and slaves, and currently has 3 others that I know of.