Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Fame has its rewards - and responsibilities

You may have noticed the little icon below my copyright declaration, after the third lusty lady. I was awarded position #34 on the list of Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2010, as featured on Rori's blog Between My Sheets.

Now, I don't take that designation all that seriously as a guarantee of top quality. It's more a question of "these are some sex blogs we know about and that some of us like and you should check them out because you might like them, too." But you know what? I'm not complaining. I like attention. I like reassurance. I like to be liked - especially as I appeal to specialized tastes and don't have a huge following. You won't see me getting 500 hits a day!

But I'm getting a few more hits now, from the list - and I hope some of the newcomers will like what they find and come back for more.

My inclusion has brought me other attention as well. From marketers. People looking for blogs to promote their stuff. People who don't bother to read what the list is about, and then who don't even take a look at the blogs of the people they approach.

I've gotten 2 overtures so far. The first is from an on-line sex toy company, offering products to review. No one has ever asked me to review sex toys before! I explained that all I could offer with the review were links, that I don't have ads, that I normally can't masturbate, and that I'd need permission from the sadist. He did approve. However, the first 2 items that were suggested mde me burst out laughing. Here I'd been hoping for one of those beautiful Lelo vibrators and instead I was offered pink plush ankle cuffs. Complete with a very thin chain running between them.

Now, please don't be insulted if your favorite toy in the world is a pair of pink, plush ankle cuffs. We all find our pleasure in different ways, and I suspect that many of you would not be thrilled by having an initial carved in your butt with the blunt side of a folding knife. (You can still see its remnants, by the way. Which thrills me. Now. Now that I've recovered from the terror and panic of the experience.)

So if pink, plush ankle cuffs are your favorite toy, enjoy. But that's the problem. They're a toy. And the sadist and I don't play. We don't use toys. The chain he wraps around my neck and pulls up into my cunt is thick and heavy and comes from the local hardware store. The cane is a strip of cherry wood with one end raggedly hacked into a sharp tip. And he doesn't restrain me. He expects me to stay and submit. And I do.

He loves the memory of the first time the beast got the better of him. The first time he gave me a relatively protracted caning. I was down on the dungeon floor, in the required position, my butt naked and vulnerable. He struck. And again. And again.

It hurt.
More than I had ever before experienced.
And what did I do?
What did I do that thoroughly charmed and delighted my tormentor?
I unconsciously reached one step forward with my knee.
As if to escape.
One step only.
And then moved back.
Back into position.
And surrendered to the inevitable.
More than submission.
Even back then.

And in the hotel.

In the hotel, when he beat me with the hairbrush to punish me for my thoughtlessness, when I was so broken-hearted and in such pain that I couldn't hold position, I knew - and he knew - that I would stay and take it. I couldn't hold position. I collapsed flat on the bed. And he brought down the back of the hairbrush again and again on my reddening bottom as I sobbed and sobbed and took it and took it and was restrained by nothing more than my love and my commitment.

If he ever decided to subject me to something requiring restraint, to true torture, there's no way those pink, plush ankle cuffs would be strong enough.

So I wrote back and explained a little about us and about our relationship as opposed to the play some people might get into to spice up their sex lives. Which, again, is a great thing. But it is far from who we are and how we live. She apologized for offending me. Which was sweet. And I wasn't offended. I just needed her to know a little of our truth. So she's sending me something else, and I expect to write an amusing review after I've had a chance to try it out.

Today, however, I received another overture, which was much further off target.

Good Morning,
My name is C-- and I’m part of the Promotions Team here at www.---.com , a Boston based company. We have been seeking out high quality websites and blogs, gauging interest in doing a giveaway with one of our sites.

We love the look and feel of your blog and think that your US and Canadian readers might be interested in a giveaway of a gift certificate valid on any of our 200+ sites!

Have a look at a couple of our sites [she listed 3, one of modern furniture and stuff, one of cooking supplies, and one of children's toys] and let me know if you think that this might be something you’d be interested in. I’d be happy to brainstorm some other ideas with you if you’re interested. Alternatively you could do a review of something from our site.

Please let me know if you have any questions for me. I hope to hear from you to further discuss the details of the giveaway or review.

Kind Regards,

I replied:

Dear C--,

Are you sure you actually looked at my blog? It's called submission & metaphor, and is about my submissive relationship with a creative and highly intelligent sadist. There is poetry, too, and pictures of my cats, but I doubt you would want to advertise your toys there. Still, it really is a high quality website. You might also note that there are no ads, except the one for the book in which one of my stories was published.

However, I have written about an Eames chair (lounge and ottoman) that had been my father's. He probably wouldn't be all that happy to hear that it's my Master's seat of choice for having his cock sucked. The only thing is, a friend who knows these things suspects it's not a genuine Eames chair after all, although my parents are convinced it is. If you want a review, perhaps you could send me a new Eames chair and ottoman and we could do a comparison. I assure you that the piece would be quite different - and much more creative - than what you'll get from most bloggers.

Thanks for contacting me, and do let me know if there is any other way in which I can be of assistance.


I don't expect to hear back.

The rewards?
Getting my ego massaged.
And I still have hopes of someone sending me a nice, expensive Lelo vibrator.

The responsibilities?
Being honest.
And not revealing more than I want to.

PS - here is the complete list of "Top" sex bloggers. I never heard of most of them. I suspect the same goes for most of you. Check out someone new. Just be sure to come back here now and then.

  1. (Please see this post)
  2. TBK from The Beautiful Kind
  3. Iona and James from SapioSlut
  4. Quizzical Pussy from Quizzical Pussy
  5. Sadie from Sexie Sadie’s Stories of Seduction
  6. Vixen from Secrets of a Blue-Eyed Vixen
  7. Adrian Colesberry from Adrian’s Blog
  8. EA from Easily Aroused
  9. Guy New York from Quickies in New York
  10. Joan from Better Than I Ever Expected: Sex and Aging
  11. 25 Things from 25 Things About My Sexuality
  12. AAG from AAG Blog
  13. Bad, Bad Girl from BBG Blog
  14. Holden from Packing Vocals
  15. The blogging team at Sex is Fun
  16. Elle from Kink Unleashed
  17. Rachel from Rabbit Write
  18. Clarisse Thorn from Pro-Sex Outreach, Open-Minded Feminism
  19. littlegirlyone from littlegirlyland
  20. Remittance Girl from Remittance Girl
  21. Mistress Arabella from Bombshells & Rockstars
  22. Axe from Unspeakable Axe
  23. Coke Talk from Dear Coke Talk
  24. Jack from Writing Dirty
  25. Kayar Silkenvoice from Silken on Sex
  26. The blogging team at Gentle Nibbles
  27. Sinclair Sexsmith from Sugarbutch Chronicles
  28. Lilly from This Could Be Dangerous…
  29. Kit from Blogging Dangerously
  30. Mistress Lilyana from Mistress Lilyana
  31. TitsMcScandal from The Blogging Slave
  32. suggestivetongue from suggestivetongue
  33. Library Vixen from Library Vixen
  34. Oatmeal Girl from Submission & Metaphor
  35. Riff Dog from Ashley and Me
  36. Rockin’ with a Cock In from Light Switch
  37. Dick and Jane from Dick-n-Jane
  38. Shasta from Stiletto Diaries
  39. Athol Kay from Married Man Sex Life
  40. Padme and Anakin from Journey to the Darkside
  41. PrettyPowerTools from Pretty Power Tools
  42. Dark Gracie from Gracie’s Playground
  43. Mollena from The Perverted Negress
  44. The blogging team at Sex in the Public Square
  45. The blogging team at Pop My Cherry Review
  46. Emma and Maymay from Kink on Tap
  47. Dave from Glimpses of Dave
  48. Jake from Facts and Friction
  49. Sylvanus and Mina from At Longing’s End
  50. Lucy from Sexy Blogtime
  51. Ms. Naughty from Ms. Naughty Porn for Women Blog
  52. Wendy Blackheart from Heart Full of Black
  53. Cin from Seeing My Own Reflection
  54. Holly from The Pervocracy
  55. Lady Pandorah from Lady Pandorah’s Sanctuary
  56. Olga Wolstenholme at Cuntlove
  57. Jiz Lee from Jiz Lee
  58. Aubrey from Vagina Drum
  59. Black Pearl from The Filthy Ramblings of a Dirty Girl on Lock
  60. Dallas from Naughty Americans
  61. Jerry Jones from Little Submissions
  62. Sir Zoomer from Vanilla-Xtract
  63. Chantelle from Chantelle Austin International
  64. Gloria from Gloria’s Oversexed Mind
  65. Insatiable Desire from Insatiable Desire
  66. Spring Flower from A Girl’s Gotta Have Options
  67. Epiphora from Hey Epiphora
  68. Wilhemina from Heartbreak Nymphomania
  69. Erin from Let’s Eat Cake
  70. Autumn from The First Day of Autumn
  71. Kyle from Butchtastic
  72. Cheeky Minx from Love Hate Sex Cake
  73. Diva from Debauched Domestic Diva
  74. Scarlet Lotus St. Syr from Purveyor of Pleasure and Wanton Lotus
  75. Janie from A Hundred Ways to be Perverse in the Library
  76. The Secret Slut from The Secretive Slut
  77. Curvaceous Dee from Curvaceous Dee
  78. Jefferson from One Life, Take Two
  79. Kris from Phone Courtesan and Experience Kris
  80. Lila from ¡Qué sinvergüenza!
  81. Essin’ Em from Essin’ Em
  82. Shon Richards from Erotiterrorist
  83. Violet Blue from Tiny Nibbles
  84. Evey from Voyeur on Display
  85. Miss Mia from Things You Can’t Ask Mom
  86. Coy Pink from No Need to be Coy
  87. Mistress Matisse from Mistress Matisse’s Journal
  88. Audacia Ray from Waking Vixen
  89. That Toy Chick from Desk Full of Dildos
  90. Britni from Oh My God, That Britni’s Shameless
  91. SSS and ♀ from Sweat Shop Sissy
  92. Ferns from Domme Chronicles
  93. Jerome Nichols from Let’s Talk About Sex
  94. Dreamwalker from Dreamwalker Sadistic Poet
  95. Dr. Petra from Dr. Petra Boynton’s Blog
  96. Viemoira from Cavern of the Beast
  97. Shirley from Reptillian Prostitute
  98. Carrie Ann from A View from the Floor
  99. Sophia St. James from Sophia St. James XXX
  100. YOU! As always that last person on the list is you. Please, please, please leave a comment below promoting your own blog (or the blog of someone you love). Links are welcome, as long as they lead us to a sex-related blog, not a retail website or porn aggregation site.


sin said...

Fun. I like the offers. I think the furniture one would have made me laugh.

oatmeal girl said...

It was the website of children's toys that horrified me. They may have - and likely do have - another site with sex toys. But that's not one of the ones she offered as an example.

Plus Id really love to have another Eames chair.


oatmeal girl said...

My apologies for the outrageous number of typos I just discovered - and corrected - on this post. I was in too much of a hurry to get it up Tuesday night. I should have waited till this morning rather than showing such disrespect for my readers and for myself.

And no, the sadist didn't make me post the apology. He doesn't read here. I am expressing my personal mortification. Spelling and grammar DO count.

aisha said...

I love your responses to the overtures... Would have liked to have been a fly on the wall when they read them!


Liras said...

Congratulations, OG! What a nice reward.

I am laughing heartily at the promo emails. I cannot imagine seeing anything fuzzy and pink in your sidebar, lol.

Take care.

nilla said...

without a doubt the best response to a marketer, ever.


i turned down the one who asked me as well.

i write to soothe my inner muse/beast, and while i love sex toys, i just couldn't ...*shrugs*...

just not my style, i guess.

anyway kudos on making The LIST of lists, o.g.


William said...

I enjoy your blog a lot.
Check out mine at thetrainingofmylovelyslut.blogspot.com.
I hope you enjoy.