He wanted to hurt me.
Oh my, how he wanted to hurt me.
He was nearly distraught with needing to hurt me.
He wanted to torture me.
He likes that word.
And it seems appropriate.
He enjoys inflicting pain.
He gets pleasure from inflicting pain.
And he gets special pleasure from inflicting it on me.
He enjoys making me suffer.
He gorges himself on my screams and squirms.
I screamed and squirmed a lot.
I don't know how many times he struck me.
Counting is not a task I've ever been assigned.
There is nothing to distract me from the pain.
He started right in.
No warm up.
He never eases into it.
This isn't a sex game.
There is no point in making it easier for me.
I take my position facing the wall, offering my butt, and he beats me.
The strip of cherry wood he uses as a cane.
The large wooden spoon.
The beautiful bi-color flogger that hurts like hell
when he swings it hard against already sore flesh.
His hand, large and hard and merciless.
And something else.
Something he took out of his bag.
I had no idea what it was.
He whipped me with it.
And it hurt.
It really hurt.
Everything still hurts.
There are all sorts of marks on my butt. He examined it by the light from the window and noted the bruises and welts and who knows what else. Now I'm in my pyjamas, sitting up in bed, and the pain is even worse than it was earlier.
Plus my nipples are sore.
Sore and red.
He bound me to a straight-back chair and flogged my tits and torso.
Scared the shit out of me.
It actually didn't hurt that much.
But having my tits flogged is so scary that the only way he can really do it is by restraining me, and this was the first time he'd done it. He's actually not into bondage - more important to him is a willing offering, willing suffering no matter what he does.
There is so much more I could say.
About the chain.
About my fear.
About his fierceness.
About the special union that comes from the dance of torture and suffering.
But I'm going to stop now.
I'm not sure that I can go over it again.
And I'm in a lot of pain.
Perhaps I'll feel better lying on my side...