Torture Porn

The sadist decided on the title.
Torture porn.
Because that is what he was watching as I sucked his cock today.

Well, not the whole time. But we are still wrestling with hurt and pain. He more than me. And when he wrestles with his emotions, the beast pushes his way in. Another wrestling match.

The beast was responsible for part of the original agenda for today. The flogger and chain to be left on the bed. And a position for me to practice: lying on my back, head hanging over the foot of the bed, legs spread as wide as I could, arms straight out on either side and clutching the bedspread and sides of the bed while I thrust my tits toward the ceiling.

You get the picture.
You get what was planned.

But as the sadist was on his way in the company of the beast, I heard my neighbors outside the house. Outside the bedroom. Very clearly. Another reason to replace my windows if I ever get the money. Because the thing about these neighbors is that they care about me. Keep an eye on me. Would be concerned if they heard me screaming bloody murder while the beast broke loose and flogged my tits and pussy in a far more violent way than I normally must suffer.

So the sadist took control.
The attack was moderated.
Although my nipples ended up like raspberries.
And my pussy hurts.
Especially as the seam of my jeans presses into it.

And tomorrow I have another 6 hour drive back up to my parents. At least by the time I get there my mouth won't be as intensely red as it is now. He was here for 2 hours today. A very long visit. And much of that time, when I wasn't being beaten, involved kissing and cock sucking.

So OK.
I admit it.
I wasn't really tortured.
Or not physically, at least.
Not that he didn't want to.
So the torture porn?

He watched it. During the early stages of the cock sucking. He'd never done that before. I wasn't even sure why he had brought his little notebook computer. To play a song from the CDs he had made for me? I didn't get to watch the video, and at the first sounds I wondered whether it was one of the film clips he had made of me. Not that I was paying that much attention. His cock is very demanding.

Still, he watched for a little while. And then, as my efforts combined with the extra stimulation seemed to overcome his doubts about me and... well, let's leave it at that. The issues. The issues and hurt we've been struggling with over the last few weeks.

The visit ended well.
Although there is still a lot of work to be done.
And vigilance.

Plus he said some things, one observation in particular, that both hurt and left me thinking very hard. I don't think he is completely right but I do think there is some validity to what he has observed.

In the end, though, what it comes back to again and again, is that we neither of us can walk away.

Note: Just so you know, and because I'm so proud of myself, and because the sadist said I was "magnificent", I was quite successful at keeping my arms and legs spread while my tits and pussy were being flogged. I never let go of the sides of the bed to protect myself (a first for me) and although my legs did sometimes close automatically, I opened them right back up again. Yes, he could have whipped me a lot harder than he did. And later he told me about the really nasty little rubber flogger he had wanted to use. On every inch of my body. But the flogging did hurt. And I submitted. I offered my body to the torture. To please him. And he was pleased.

Another note: I'm heading up north again. More chauffeuring duty. If all continues as planned I should be back Thursday night. I hope to get in at least one post while I'm gone. Thanks for your patience. ~o.g.