The cats wanted to kill it.
To them, it wasn't a rabbit.
To them, it was a fiercely buzzing bug.
To them, their duty was clear.
I only wish my fingers hadn't been covered with AstroGlide. I wanted nothing more than a picture of their faces and alert bodies as they stared towards the sound emerging from my pussy.
But to back up.
It's sex toy review time again in the oatmeal bowl. It took me quite some time to pick what I wanted to try next. I had 2 lists of items from my contact at EdenFantasys, and conducted serious and time-consuming research to find the best possible candidate. My goal is always to find something I'll really enjoy. Unfortunately, I have very demanding standards and expensive tastes, and the item I'd had in mind in my ongoing search for the perfect clitoral vibrator wasn't available for testing this month.
The good part of my research was that it pushed me to analyze what I want and what I need in a sex toy. One thing I realized was that I don't really like to shove anything very fat up my cunt. So I carefully compared the width of every insertable vibrator I was offered, based on the small circumference of my sweet lavender Meany (3-1/2" per the EdenFantasys website).
In the end, I chose the Marvel, a rabbit from Evolved Novelties (4-1/4").
My very first rabbit vibrator.
And a pretty basic rabbit at that.
Or so I gather from my research.
A mere 3 speeds.
No fancy patterns.
No complicated controls.
No beads bouncing around in its belly.
No cute little ears or butterflies on the clit-tickling end.
I had my concerns starting out. My material of choice is silicone. I like the texture, and I especially like that it is so hygienic that if I wash it well (which is easy) I don't have to use a condom. Just my trusty AstroGlide. (They really should send me a lifetime supply for all the promotion I give them!) But the Marvel is a jelly rabbit. (I can see it now... hopping around town at Easter time, leaving a delicate trail of jelly bean turds...) So out came the condoms again.
On the other hand, the Marvel is flexible. Bendable. And I had read enough rabbit reviews to realize that if manufacturers can't get clothing sizes right, it's even less likely they'll be able to design a vibrator that can simultaneously hit the clit while deeply inserted in every woman who uses it.
And on the third hand, the reviews I read claimed the Marvel was quiet. And as my regular readers know, I have this problem with vibrator noise.
Which brings us back to the cats.
The beasts were banished from my bedroom for a long time, due to continuing hostilities which kept me up at night and resulted in the occasional unwelcome deposit left by Ketzel as a sign of her displeasure. Recently, though, my furry darlings have demonstrated their superiority to the US Congress by deciding to coexist in a surprising state of relaxation, even cooperating in presenting their demands for prompt meal service. As a reward, they have been allowed back onto the Garden of Eden of my bed, where they had joined me for a nap.
I woke up horny, with thoughts of my Master and a sentimental song wandering through my mind - a perfect condition for running one last rabbit test before writing my review. The cats decided to stick around for the fun.
Given that the sadist controls my orgasms, any masturbation I indulge in is for him. He requires a report, of which the following is an excerpt:
They were both on the bed with me, Daddy, when I turned on the rabbit. It buzzes horribly, with a much rougher sound than anything except that first little lipstick vibe. Like a big bee in your ear. And as soon as I turned it on both cats were on the alert, staring at my pussy, looking as if they were considering an attack. I had to laugh!
Eventually, Ketzel jumped off the bed, leaving Marko to do battle alone. At that point, he decided the sound was coming from my foot. He moved slightly closer, raised his paw, and swatted in its direction. Now I was really cracking up. It's very hard to get your head into the right erotic place when a cat is eying your foot while wondering if it's predator or prey.
Which brings me back to the noise.
A very nasty buzz.
Maybe it's not that it's so loud.
Maybe it's just the quality of the sound.
So even though the Marvel itself is slender and flexible, I experienced it as something harsh. Which is particularly odd as its vibrations aren't even that strong. I didn't feel very much inside me. The bullet in the clit part was stronger, and that little nub of flesh more sensitive, so when I position it just right (which I did) the vibrations can be almost numbing. To get any real pleasure from the phallic part I had to fuck myself with it. It was very lovely for that, being long and slender, but I think I would have preferred something a little less pliable for that function.
My goal had been to think about being watched, objectified, returning to the lesson of Tuesday's visit. But the buzzing was too distracting and the stimulation not quite right. Still, it worked hard on my clit, and I came much faster than I meant to. It was only a partial orgasm, though, in that my body peaked but there wasn't the usual crying release. I let my clit rest briefly, allowing the numbness to subside, and then used my fingers and my imagination to finish the orgasm and release the tears. A few sobs later, I was done.
As with everything I review, I must add the caution that my comments are very personal and you must take into account your own body and preferences. I'm sure that most people aren't as fussy about noise as I am, unless it's a matter of eavesdropping housemates or a partner from whom you are hiding the fact that he or she isn't giving you everything you need. (And really, how can one person give you everything you need?) Maybe it's the ADD - the noise of this thing definitely interfered with my pleasure, and makes my other toys seem not so bad.
On the other hand, the Marvel is relatively inexpensive as such things go. And the packaging is great! A really neat metal box with a form-fitting plastic insert and metal clasps resembling those on a Mason jar. Perfect for storage and pleasing for its creativity.
In the end, I think I do better with simple, expensive silicone toys designed mainly for one thing. They end up doing more for me. But I am glad I finally got to try a rabbit.
And I'm grateful that the cats didn't take a swat at it while it was inside me!