She asked me a question, and given that I am struggling with a migraine today - which seems to have shorted out a few wires to my brain, I decided to toss her question over to you. I do hope you will treat us to some long, thoughtful responses.
Or else come over and do delicious things to my naked body. The endorphins might help cut through the migraine fog. Or at least distract me.
So, my new question is one I posed previously, to wit, Why is it that sadists, or at least OUR sadists, have cornered the market on a particular, perhaps unrecognizable to vanilla people, form of sweetness, of romance, of recognition? I think DD [Discerning Dom] touched on it with his post on intimacy - (I'm terrified of responding to anyone else's posts, as I know I'll end up in correspondences for which I have - no time! Gee, where have I heard THAT before?) - but it is odd, is it not? I look at men who give their wives toaster ovens, and think, Oh, God. I'd die of misery in that kind of relationship!Is it our need to walk on an edge? What we do is recognize and formalize a fact of physics - he is stronger, larger, overpowering, all-encompassing. We place ourselves in danger every time we get naked and make ourselves available. And that is immutable. It would be true if we were pure vanilla - (unless we had teeny-tiny lovers, which never worked for me!) - and cannot be ignored. So, all we do, as I see it, is give this fact a context. And in so doing, we lay ourselves wide open to any and all outcomes. Which attracts these predators, and further pushes our buttons, and there we go...BUT - and this is a very big but - it only works, for me, with intellect, and humor, and charm and charisma, with the flow going BOTH ways, with sweetness woven into the pain so the two are indistinguishable. And what is it about these large, mean, fallen-away-Catholics that makes them appreciate the vulnerability, acknowledge it in a way other men never do, and even while using it, while pushing it (us?) as far as possible, manage to create a web of gentleness, even as the flogger or crop or cane is hissing and we are squeaking?