Sunday, April 24, 2011
Masturbation mania (3) - testing the Fun Factory Meany
It's the Meany, my new mini-vibrator from Fun Factory, courtesy of my friends at EdenFantasys, the on-line seller of so-called Adult Toys who supply me with masturbatory goodies in exchange for uncensored reviews.
I'm quite fond of the Meany, although I'm not completely sure why.
The cats, however, had absolutely no interest in the Meany, a tribute to the minimal amount of plastic involved in the packaging. I had to work very hard to get this photo, which I pursued only out of fairness and a sense of balance. After all, the other vibrators I've reviewed had their portraits taken with the cats! I may have to give up that part of the project if I keep getting sent sex toys made by manufacturers with a concern for the environment.
As I said, the Meany is small.
It's barely 6" from the pliable curved tip to the end of the black plastic cap.
And that includes the controls, which are on the soft silicone part.
At times, I would shove the whole thing up inside me and just leave it there on its own, rumbling away. I had to reach into my pussy if I wanted to change the setting. Happily, I never had to worry about it getting lost. While it stayed inside quite happily, I could easily eject it with a good squeeze of my muscles. It did eventually become quite warm, which I assume was from my body heat.
Like the Siena Symphony, the Meany is made of silicone, giving it a sort of velvety texture and making it very easy to clean. But a special feature of the Meany is that the tip is squooshy, reminding me of a real penis. It's sort of flexible, which seems just so cute! In fact, the Meany in general seems cute. Sweet. Yummy. A pleasure pet.
But not mean at all.
So here's the thing.
To me, it's darling.
But if you're after something
big and hard
and fierce and nasty,
the Meany is not your guy.
It is very quiet. In fact, at first hearing, it struck me as significantly quieter than the Symphony, although Eden rates them both the same at 2 bees out of 5. I was surprised, when I finally compared them buzz to buzz, to find that at the loudest settings they were, in fact, the same. Which is quiet. I turned them on and left the room and even right outside my door heard barely a thing. And inside me?
A pussy provides excellent insulation.
Something sound engineers might want to investigate further.
Like the Symphony, the Meany is billed as a G-spot vibrator, what with the curved tip and all. I experimented with angles, to see what effect it would have. At times it did unleash sensations that were... different. Deeply internal, up into my womb, and not something I can really describe. In fact, if any of you readers feel like leaving comments on your own G-spot sensations, I'd be most grateful. I have a lot to learn.
I always have a lot to learn.
Perhaps one reason I like the Meany so much is precisely because it isn't over-strong. It's not beating up on my cunt. I can let it run and run and my clitoris doesn't feel numb after. And it's comfortable. My main complaint about the Symphony is that it's rather big for me. The Meany feels lovely inside me. Despite my age, I do have a tight little pussy! If you like to feel more full, or have a more generous cave than I do, you probably want something fatter and longer.
There are 10 settings, controlled by a pair of buttons that take you up and down through the options. The buttons sometimes seemed a little fussy, and at times, especially with the device fully inserted, I accidentally changed the setting when all I meant to do was adjust the creature's position. The patterns are lovely, though, albeit not as creative as those on the Symphony. Mostly you get different intensities of straight vibrations; once you reach the maximum strength, three are 3 pulsing programs, which also build in power.
I'm having a very hard time writing this review.
I wonder if it shows?
Because here I am describing this and that feature.
The things that charm me.
The things that might leave others dissatisfied.
But really, it's all very subjective.
Just as I immediately knew I wanted mine to be lavender
and never considered the one in black.
Just as any lover,
and/or any penis,
might charm me
and might leave you cold
You can't write a completely dispassionate and scientific review about either a lover or a vibrator, and for some reason I'm feeling that most of all with this one.
This vibrator, that is.
So come back tomorrow for the pulse-by-pulse comments I sent the sadist as I tested the Meany, both before and after the severe punishment beating he gave me. Because yes. A couple of days after he beat my pussy with the large wooden spoon, he ordered me to masturbate with my sweet little lavender vibrator, to make sure my poor, bruised pussy still worked.
It worked just fine.