Is it genetic?

My mother is submissive.

I doubt she's "a" submissive, mind you. Which is too bad, because it's much more fun than just being pushed around because you need so badly to be liked that you can't stand up for yourself.

My parents have moved into an amazingly lovely independent living community, and I'm just back from unpacking some of the 40 boxes that they insisted on packing themselves. They're 87 and 90 years old. Anyway, this place is filled with smart, educated people, many of whom still have their wits about them even as their bodies slowly let them down. They need a dance card to keep track of all their dinner appointments.

From all reports, one particular woman is rather on the pushy side. She keeps badgering my atheist Jewish parents to join her synagogue. And my mom can't bring herself to say thanks, but we really are not interested. So instead they keep getting subjected to the hard sell. (My dad's hearing is worse than my mom's, which might be one reason why it keeps falling on her.)

I need a new housemate. I've advertised. I've been pretty clear about what I want, but you know, people never read the directions. (Except for sex slaves, of course... we know we'll be caned if we don't follow instructions.) So I hear from this guy who just graduated from college and says he's "not entirely dissimilar from [his] peer group." Which is the last thing I want. And I find myself composing this long long e-mail back, with the obvious purpose of persuading him that he really doesn't want to move in here after all.

Because I just can't bring myself to say: you're not what I'm looking for.

I did finally say: you're not what I'm looking for.

Well, more or less anyway.

My mother has amazing nipples. They protrude. I looked at my 87-year old mother, who is always so worried about being appropriate, and there were her nipples, showing through her bra and shirt.

I inherited those nipples.

Do you think they are genetically linked to submissiveness?