Sunday, May 4, 2008

rationing

i think i need to cut back on blogging.
persephone was right from the beginning.
every day is too much.

it eats up too much time.
it feeds my tendency towards obsession.
it keeps me inside my head.

if one of the points of this blog is to nurture my writing, than posting less often will allow me to spend more time on each piece, to ponder and edit and re-write. i can wait till real inspiration comes along, rather than feeling i have to come up with something every day. if i were in training for a daily newspaper column, then of course this would be great practice. but i’m not, and i’ve proven that i CAN get something out every day. to that end, daily posting has been very beneficial in forcing me to meet short deadlines – meeting deadlines has always been a problem. i am a champion procrastinator!

it IS nice to feel proud about something at least especially when i’m so down on myself for being disobedient…

my job, which i still love, is very stressful. there is much too much work for the time allotted and the staff available, and i get sucked into staying too late to avoid falling too far behind. i’m trying very hard to draw the line, but some days are better than others. and then i get home and feed the cats and feed myself and (sometimes) i clean up the dishes, and maybe pay a bill or clean the cats’ litter box or assemble the garbage to go out. i write for the blog and get ready for bed and then the philosopher calls and that is the very best part of the day.

i read other people’s blogs too much. i think the habit developed as a way to perpetuate the constant intense contact that the philosopher and i had during the first few months of our relationship. there’s no need for that now, much as i enjoy the simulation of spending time with my new blogger friends. and it’s not as if i don’t have “real world” friends to see and correspond with. and the newspaper to read. and movies to watch. oh, and novels… remember novels?

and walks after dinner.
and the health club.
and gardening.

oh, and practicing.
i’m supposed to be playing at least 15 minutes every day.

one can become so immersed in examining one’s life that there is no time to live it.

i’m living too much inside my head.
if i cut back on the blogging i think it will get me out in the sun more.

blogger now has this lovely feature where you can schedule the post’s appearance. i don’t even have to be at the computer right at the moment i want my latest masterpiece to go up. very convenient. i can write when there is world enough and time.

so what do you think, master?

maybe Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday?

2 comments:

marianne said...

Yes, sometimes examining life can take the place of life. And then, when you try to just live life instead, you feel guilty for neglecting the blog world. :)

I try to do one post every other day... but sometimes it ends up being more like 2 or 3 times a week. It's enough.

oatmeal girl said...

i feel really liberated. i wrote tomorrow's post in a little fit of inspiration, went to class, watched the election returns with the philosopher via phone (oh happy night!) until he started saying things that rolled me over on my stomach and set me to moaning, and know that i have breathing space until i have to be creative again.

this is good.

thank you, master.