Friday, August 15, 2008

Banished into silence

The silence is hard. It feels so artificial, having no contact at all, after we were so much a part of each other's lives for nearly a year and a half. I was so tempted to e-mail him... there was an article in the New York Times about egg creams that I wanted to share with him... he claims to be a New Yorker and he's never had an egg cream!

But I don't want to upset him if he's trying to cleanse his mind. He seems to think that being distracted by our relationship, what was our relationship, is keeping him from writing. I don't want to risk adding to the distraction. I don't want him to blame me.

So I remain silent. Submissive. Even now...

4 comments:

Paul said...

Oatmeal Girl, love is not a pollutant, it adds value to life doesn't diminish it.
You are worthy of love the man isn't worthy of you.
Warm hugs,
Paul.

longingsend said...

oh thank goodness I am not the only one who believes this man is not worthy of you. I can only hope you heal quickly form his loss.

xoxoxo mina

k said...

The silence is the hardest part. To go from constant contact, every day several times a day, a phone call every single night for an hour at least, emails 3 or 4 times a day. And then nothing.

But I agree with Paul, the healing will take time, but there is someone who is worthy of your love and submission and will take it for what it is, A gift and something precious and not something that distracts.

Anonymous said...

Love doesn't diminish, detract, or distract. It only adds value, to every aspect of our lives.

Frankly, it sounds as though your relationship was used as a scapegoat for his failing to be prolific. I wonder what excuse he will use now that you are absent and no longer a convenient excuse?