Sunday, August 10, 2008

kitten struggles with memories

it's nice being here. i love it here. and yet...

i'm with friends, which is good... except that these are friends who have met the philosopher, people for whom he was my boyfriend, a context in which he was more than just a fantasy relationship. my friends saw how happy i was. how happy WE were? WERE "we" happy? WAS there a "we"?

the tears linger just beneath the surface.

and then they break through.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

the next day:

doing better.
camp is starting to work its magic.
the friends
the music
and yes,
chocolate.

5 comments:

Paul said...

Oatmeal Girl, try and enjoy the day.
Recharge your spiritual batteries with friendship and love of friends.
Warm hugs,
Paul.

mamacrow said...

oh honey. ((((hugs))))

I prescribe lots of sleep, water, and good quality chocolate.

Sounds trite, and no, it won't stop it hurting, but it will probably help you endure it more easily.

xxx

mamacrow said...

yay for chocolate!
No wonder only the kings got to drink it in the Mayan culture!

marianne said...

Chocolate! Yes!

Anonymous said...

Just delurking here for a moment....I truly feel your heartache - hopefully you're in a spot to enjoy the meteor showers. Just breathe.......then get a Lindt dark chocolate and savor it. :)