Sunday, December 6, 2009

Sacrificing pelvic curls on the altar of submission

So there we were, my Master and I, around mid-day, engaged in instructive and very arousing conversation courtesy of Yahoo Messenger. I was embroidering on a scenario that was rapidly growing out of a handful of words he had tossed at me, expanding, elaborating, enriching, when my mind and my body were drawn back to compelling physical memories of the slash of his flogger on my cunt.

I spoke of that a little, of its power over me, the particular type of pain. It's real pain, and I don't crave the pain itself, but there's something about it...

I don't hunger to be caned.
I do hunger to be flogged.

And then there it was. Out of the blue.

"I may have you shave."

I froze.

I had been wriggling and squirming like mad, aroused and submissive and adoring and barely able to contain myself. But at those six words, I froze.

Silence.
Then -

"oh."

I described my frozen state.
I begged to be allowed to trim very close instead.
I get all these irritated bumples just from shaving up at the top of my thighs.
And my hair is so light, you'd think a close trim would do it.

"shave"

And I felt incredibly, exquisitely owned.

Of course, now that he's seen what a strong effect the possibility had on me, there's no way I'll get out of it.

I'm squirming as I write.

The philosopher and I used to talk about the possibility. We mulled over his taking me down to the place in Dupont Circle where, right before his inaugural visit, I had my eyebrows waxed for the first and only time. I liked it there. It felt professional and safe. And I thought they could handle his bringing me in to have my cunt stripped bare. Making it clear that he was in charge, that my pussy belonged to him. He would stand there and watch and enjoy my yelps of pain and enjoy the little puddle of arousal that would form on the sheet just below me. I wrestled with the idea - I didn't like the idea of going bare. We don't do that in my circle. And yes, I do know what the others do because when we all spend a week together at music camp there's a bathroom with 2 toilets and 3 showers for the 15 of us. So even though not everyone is as much of an exhibitionist as I am, there are glimpses...

I'm still squirming.

I worry what people will think of me. I worry what my gynecologist will think of me. I imagine her calling my psychiatrist, who referred me to her, and asking if she knows why I suddenly shaved my pretty little curls. And since I'm not really in therapy, and have scrupulously avoided discussing my submission, there will be no ready answer.

I am feeling very small.

I think of that bare area between my legs. How it will look so childlike, even with my large, floppy, aging pussy lips hanging down and inviting torture. And I think of how it will feel...

The philosopher finally accepted my explanation about irritation, and allowed me to trim very close instead of getting waxed. And even that felt incredibly naked. I'm rocking back and forth madly on the chair as I remember how I felt everything rubbing against the tender skin. Against my labia. Against my clit.

So here I am.
Feeling very small.
Feeling very submissive.
Dreading what's to come.
Yearning for what's to come.
Anticipating the humiliation of presenting myself unprotected by my little curls.

I swim in his power and willingly give myself up to the rapids that pull me towards the waterfall and the rocks below.

10 comments:

Florida Dom said...

It sounds like you miss your curls but maybe he'll change his mind and let you grow the curls back.

FD

oatmeal girl said...

They're not gone yet, FD, but I have no doubt that they will be before how long. Though the sadist always takes his time before actually putting major things into action. I think he likes to savor what the anticipation does to my mind, and the writings that pour out of me.

Orlando C. said...

Funny thing, OG, I just shaved off a beard I've had for years. It is a bit the other way around for us--I'd love to shave completely, but Murre won't let me. Being allowed to shave the beard was a sort of victory.

But more interestingly, I've also just been reading about medieval sadoerotic art. There is a trope of clipping one's pubic hair as a form of anasyrma: illustrations of women lifting their skirts and baring their sex with a big pair of shears, to terrify the fiend. Poor little devils...

oatmeal girl said...

"Anasyrma"? You are the only blogger I know who sends me running to the dictionary. Or Wikipedia. Thanks for the education. It sparks some interesting ideas. (To the rest of you, as my mother used to say: go look it up yourselves.)

You erstwhile beard and whatever remains. You sound rather triumphant that you won on the beard point. I rather like facial hair, so am glad you didn't get to take it off, but that's obviously irrelevant. My main reaction is - doesn't it feel wonderful to be so controlled? To know that SHE owns your facial hair along with the rest of you... I may not be happy about inevitably losing my little curls, but I feel all warm and cozy and happily caged as I hug to myself the knowledge that I have no choice. This is his decision to make.

Which is, of course, precisely the reason he issued the decree. To wrap me in his ownership.

And after writing all that, there is a rich soup coating the crotch of my panties and now it's time for bed and of course I can't touch...

Yum.

Anonymous said...

This one use to shave then waxed finally after getting tried of it all this one had the curls laser away no more fuss.

PS my doctor has never said a word about my lack of curls.

baby girl said...

i wax. all of it. ;-)

the first time, it was for my partner...but then i liked it. i love the smooth silky feel. and how slippery it all gets when i'm aroused. so now i do it for me. :)

and yes. knowing that you don't have any choice (in this context of course) has to be the most delicious feeling ever.

Paul said...

OG, just another strand of the rope that he binds you with, and you are so loving it.
And yes I looked it up, I didn't know the word but I know of the act as I have seen various copies of Aphrodite Kallipygos on my travels, of course they would interest me.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.

nancy said...

I thought you were talking about .. some sort of pelvic exercise... my nerves!

Being naked even at such an advanced age as you and i.. isnt the worst thing in the world..
The upkeep.. eh.. I don't like much.. but for the right Master.. would do in a second.

charlie said...

wax it! I love the way a waxed smooth pussy feels- definitely nicer than a shaved one.

Anonymous said...

Clean shaved or even better waxed is the way to go. I also think that as further evidence of control, you should have to post a photo of the deed once its done. Wait, on second thought, before and after photos, and we'll vote on whether you have to keep shaving.

Pass this suggestion along.

James.