Perspective

Doms and sadists.
By and large, I take them with a handful of salt.
Thrown back over my left shoulder.
Plain, ordinary iodized salt.
None of that fancy sea salt.
Don't want them to get a swollen head.

Of course, my view of submissives is liberally sprinkled with salt as well.
We're a romantic bunch, we submissives.
Easily swayed by a whole assortment of hypnotic techniques.
A word.
A look.
A touch.
A raised eyebrow.
A voice.
We lose perspective.
We get carried away.
Their power washes over us,
the power they like to think they have,
and our brains short-circuit.

We're never the same again.

They know it.
Or they think they know it.
Doms and sadists,
they think a lot of themselves.
They think they have that
one
magic
word,
and it should work with everyone.
Oh yes, they can be full of themselves.

Like the ones who come on to you on FetLife, going on about what they're after without bothering to read your profile that clearly says you're quite happy with what you've got, thank you very much, and anyway you live clear across the country.

It's all a question of his finding the right word, of course.
Or the right person for whom his usual word
raises sparks
or destroys vigilance.
And then all common sense falls away and you become mush.

The fiend disarmed me by being self-deprecating. Pretty funny for someone who is so massively narcissistic. But that's what he did. Played at diminishing himself. He was funny and charming and literary and I was lost within a day.

Actually, I was lost from that very first message with which he approached me on - yes - FetLife. He is extraordinary. He truly is. He is scary and smart and wry and demanding and I will never, ever be able to present a proper picture of him. So I toss out bits here and there, more as a way to explain me as anything else. Because I know it's hopeless. It's hopeless trying to explain him.

Just as the rest of you submissive bloggers will never really be able to convince me of what you see in the one who - to one extent or another - spanks you and fucks you and runs your life. To me you all seem - to one extent or another - brainless ninnies who have been swallowed up by the machinations of some self-important man (mostly men, but of course not exclusively) who thinks he deserves your worship.

I don't like self-important men.
And I give true respect only where it has been earned.

I do not completely exclude myself from the brainless ninny category.
And I don't deny that sometimes I sound like one.
Still, you must read me and all of us with a bit of detachment.
How much is real?
How much is exaggerated?
How much is real but edited for effect?

The sadist is a dangerous man.
That is for real.
He also has his vulnerabilities.
He has his soft spots.
And sometimes he lets the mask slip.

Still, the question has arisen - which is the mask?
And which is his true face?

Me, I think it's one of those composite pictures. Or the blind men and the elephant. We aren't blind, all of us who have our little places in his life. But we only see what he wants to show us, and each of us sees a different part. I think he is disconcerted at his occasional urges to briefly remove my blinders, to drop the masks he has chosen to wear in my presence, and show me the wounds that fester below.

There are many kinds of danger, and I am not the only one who at times feels a threat.

The sadist is a dangerous man.
This I know, and am given more reasons to believe.
Anecdotes.
Fantasies.
He seems to want me to know.
The sadist is a dangerous man.
But he protects me.
He does his best to protect.
The beast is banging on the bars,
but Daddy will protect me.

So this weekend he has arranged to let the beast out of his cage in a situation where that is... appropriate. The creature will gorge himself and, unlike the scene in La belle et la bête, there will be no risk of my coming across him with blood dripping from his maw.

No risk of my vomiting as I see him tearing a deer to shreds.
And no risk of my kneeling before him
and offering my own throat to his waiting jaws.

Somtimes love makes no sense at all.