Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Autumn temptation

Happy apples
fervent red
wrapped around
flesh that's moist
white and giving
if apt to bruise
when dealt a blow.
The moon is full.

(posted with permission)


mamacrow said...

ooo, really liked this.

this is good.

liked the comparasion/contrast between the apple and (yours I presume) flesh...

loved the way it felt sucint, like a crisp bite of a tart apple, or a slap on that pale soft flesh...

and it flowed really nicely, it was concise yet complete.

yup, really liked it, one of your best so far. (imho)

Paul said...

Oatmeal Girl, I'll second mamacrow.
Warm hugs,

oatmeal girl said...

Thanks so much, you two. It's an interesting case, as I had thought it would be longer, with other colors, other foods, brussels sprouts were meant to be next. i was aiming for an abstract sensuality, senses of smell and taste, vision for color... and then as usual the poem took over, went in a different direction, and drew the line.

The added bits of information to keep in mind are that my hair is red and my normally covered skin is pale.

Anonymous said...



oatmeal girl said...

Thank you, C.