Monday, March 23, 2009

and then he calls me angel...

if he saw me more often
if he kept me in a cage
and i ate but what he fed me
naked, down on hands and knees,
slurping from a bowl for dogs,
always with the chain around
my neck - well let's just say
if he did come here more...

i'd think he kept me drugged.

he'll tell me plans, he'll talk
of things i should protest,
i should write back and say
are you kidding?! do you
think i've lost my mind?

but i have
lost
my mind.
not to mention sure control
of all those juices that are swirling
in the maelstrom that was once
my cunt and now is his,
except he calls it pussy.
his pussy.

and he isn't drugging me.
except with words, perhaps,
and with the lure of the dark,
and the temptation to live
fantasies that have lived in me
so long they get their own junk mail.

he talks of sharing me.
he talks of sharing me and
i feel submissive and owned and
nervous and humiliated and
i'm not sure what and i'm
not sure i like how i feel.
i told him that. and he said
of course you don't like it.
you LOVE it.
you obsess over the idea,
you can't stop thinking about it.
which is true.
i spent the afternoon
afloat on the edge of a
submissive haze.
if he had walked in
and clicked his fingers,
i would have risen from my desk
and followed him out.

so yes.
he challenges me.
he frightens me.
he tortures me.
he beats me.
he taunts me.
he trains me.

and then he calls me angel.
not often, but just enough
just enough
that each time i know
that this angel
has fallen
and is wallowing
in the mud
at his feet
while he laughs.

5 comments:

rosie said...

Wow... I love it... so powerful.

xxxx

A Secret Freak said...

I have been reading you for a while and and always left with a feeling of admiration. You write so passionately and beautifully...I am captivated by every syllable!

oatmeal girl said...

as he is, rosie.
so very powerful.

Freak - oh. thank you. i'm always a little stunned by such praise. but i'm glad you like it and am most glad that you stuck your head out to say hello.

ok... now i'm feeling shy. (my shyness arouses him. he is a predator.)

cutesy pah said...

isn't it wonderful how he can get inside your head, turn you on, frighten you, hypnotize you, hold you captive, and cause you to care for him so deeply all at the same time?

*sigh* I love submission with the right man......

keep up the amazing writings, honey!

oatmeal girl said...

damn, cutesy pah, he most definitely does get inside my head. he is evil and manipulative and so incredibly brilliant and perceptive and creative that submission aside i am honored that he would have anything to do with me and that he thinks so much of my mind.