Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Time to break the fast


I am declaring the fast over. I'm removing my chastity belt and taking the QUARANTINE sign off the door.

It's spring in Washington, DC.
The sap is running.
It is running out my cunt and down the tender insides of my thighs.
It is filling the cocks of two out of three men
and the clamor for my services is growing.
Two out of three men.
The third is silent.

I informed my sadistic demon muse first.

He owns me, and invests a lot of planning into the scheduling and lesson plans for his visits. Between one thing and another, including our successive bouts with the vicious virus, it has been over 3 weeks since he was last here. We have much to do, and have been trading inspirational e-mails.

Even the Irishman, usually so stingy with his words, has been writing, testing my metaphorical mucous to see if I'm ready to hang out the welcome sign.

As soon as the sadist has been here, I will declare myself available to all comers.

OK, not really. I'm not that much of a slut. But the Irishman may use me whenever he wishes. And he has been wishing for a while now.

Pure, unadulterated fucking.

Yeah, I know, adulterous fucking.
Sorry about that.
I'm done being responsible for other people's decisions.
Late at night, he will sneak out of his house, use me, and be back without being missed.

And there's the question. What happens to mixed marriages when there is no outlet for the one who is the dom, the sadist, for the one who is submissive, or a masochist. What happens when the urges, the needs, are bottled up, when they ferment, when the pressure builds... if there has been no regular release of the need to use, the need to hurt, the need to humiliate and debase, the need to control, is the marriage in greater danger of disintegrating?

This is a real question, about otherwise loving and treasured marriages. I don't know the answer, and I'm not pretending it's my job to save other people's relationships. I've got my own odd relationship, had my first failed, young marriage followed by a really bad marriage, and now am trying to take care of at least some of my needs. Still, I'm curious.

Anyone have a report from the field?


Vesta said...

Oatmeal Girl:

This is NOT a report from the field. Are you serious? LOL

But, if he is a sadist in a vanilla relationship, then I think his relationship with you, *helps* his marriage. That's my sense of it.

Anonymous said...

Being in a similar situation from the other side, I think it helps my marriage, or at least keeps it going for all the usual reasons.


mamacrow said...

I dunno. I can only comment from the perspective of my marridge, where we explore things - including D/s - with each other. It's both our thought that if we started looking outside of the marridge for that, we'd be in trouble.

But that's just us.

oatmeal girl said...

Vesta and mamacrow - you are in the situation I think infinitely preferable - to have partners with whom you can experiment and explore and share. Ever so much better.

What I wonder about are basically good vanilla relationship, marital or otherwise, where there is the one point of disconnect. What are the comparative harms of denying a core part of yourself vs. (in an relationship which is not open) living with a measure of dishonesty relative to your partner in order to allow you to be honest with this part of yourself. If that made sense... And then there are the cases where the partner "chooses not to know"... and the dangers of the side relationship becoming something it wasn't meant to.

I don't at all think the answers are obvious; I have the sense that we believe what suits our life at any one time - or else will live with horrendous guilt when need drives us past what we thought were our moral underpinnings.

It's not an easy question.