Sunday, March 22, 2009

Looking ahead

He has plans for me.

Well, he always has plans for me.

Hell, he's got a whole syllabus mapped out, which he revises in response to the performance of what must be his most exasperating pupil ever. I console myself that I'm obviously doing some things right or he would have given up for good a long time ago - and certainly would never have given me a second chance.

So he has plans... not just how he is training me to please him, to serve him, but...

He reminds me that when he uses me I will be just a series of holes, impersonal means to his pleasure and release. And these holes... they are his holes... he owns them... and as such...

They are at his disposal.

And he has friends...

I used to read about such things on other people's blogs, and when I tried to consider it as a real life thing I was horrified. Very aroused but also horrified. But now... Part of me says "What? Are you nuts?!" But most of me says "Yes, Sir. Yes, I know you are serious. I am yours, Sir. And all I want to do is please you."

It will make me feel very owned...

5 comments:

Velvet said...

That's totally hot!

xxxx milla

baby girl said...

the thought of being shared never seemed like something that would ever work for me outside of my fantasies.

but superman has changed that. it hasn't happened yet, but the thought is arousing and appealing. the need to serve him in this way and to experience the feeling of being owned to such an extent continues to grow and strengthen in me.

velvet is right. it is totally hot!

oatmeal girl said...

part of me obviously thinks it is very hot. there is one plan that we discussed often last fall, which may still be possible depending on the 3rd party's relationship status. the other idea... i haven't ehard much in teh way of details, but he is an evil man, the sadist, and i can see him going ahead with it. my cunt is in pain from arousal as i write this. but still i have fears of the effect such an actual experience would have on me. on the other hand, maybe it's another one of those things i just have to get out of my system. a notch in my 60-year old belt as i have my belated better-late-than-never wild years. i don't know.

and i continue to wonder about that part of me that needs such a thing, the part of me that has been creating the fantasies for all these decades.

i have this yearning to be debased...

and i want to hear from others who have actually been through it.

cutesy pah said...

well, OG, I've been there, done that, and once upon a time, had the bruises to prove it!

Being used and abused is totally amazing, awesome, frightening, offputting, upsetting, centering, and stabilizing all at the same time.

the ability to trust that this person would NEVER allow you to be harmed, yet place you in a potentially harmful situation is at once a turn-on and a mind-fuck all at the same time.

be certain the agreement is that he may hurt you, but will NEVER harm you. there IS a difference.

if you are in agreement on that, and you can trust him to honor that agreement, may you have the wildest night of your life!!!

let me know if you want to know more either here or privately.

oatmeal girl said...

cutesy pah - he's been here before, he's hurt me before, but he's never shared me before. he takes things very very slowly and deliberately.

he says there are no limits. but the fact of the matter is that he makes changes when something upsets me. he has been moderating... i guess he gets enough pleasure from me that he doesn't want to lose that, even if he must restrain the beast.

do please let me know more about your experiences - here or privately, whichever you'd prefer. i'm sure others would enjoy hearing about them...