Sunday, February 21, 2010

Handing over the keys


Bit by bit, I am relinquishing control. Piece by piece, I am handing him parts of my life, checking off areas of autonomy that really belong to him, and presenting him with the keys and combinations to my body, mind, and time.

He didn't ask for them. He has said from the start that my private life is mine, that I may see and date and... do other things with whomever I wish. He was always quite clear about that. Did he know it was inevitable that I would reach the point of preferring that he be in charge in even these areas? Knowing the sadist - probably.

Still, this is my choice. I say "Here. You decide." And oddly, despite the risks inherent in that abdication of control, I feel safer than ever.

I am his property.
He treasures me.
And I trust him more than I do myself.

7 comments:

Thirty's Kitten said...

The truth in that last line stunned me. That is exactly how I feel about Thirty though I could never put my finger on it... What a beautiful statement!

oatmeal girl said...

Thanks, Thirty's Kitten. I realized this was the case as I wrote the line - even though at times he might have me doing scarier things than I would have ventured to do myself. But whatever he decides on my behalf, it will be based on lots of thinking and careful planning. I may not like his plans for me, but by no means will they be haphazard.

Paul said...

OG, all I can say, who's a lucky girl.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.

Anonymous said...

OG,

i was debating how to say this, so i'm not going to cencor myself and just say it: i actually feel envious of what you have with your special sadist - although not in an ugly way - in the sense that i wish for you to know that i am truly happy for you, in that you've found that fit that so many of us need and are searching for.

gd

Ellie said...

the things we do for love...

nancy said...

OG.. certainly his plans are not the least haphazard!
You are one very lucky woman; I'm very happy for you!

Florida Dom said...

The line about him treasuring you is just perfect.

What more can you ask for in life -- in this lifestyle or any other -- than to have someone who treasures you.

You must be so happy.

FD