I had another date. This is becoming great fun. I have this great feeling of power, which is an odd thing for a submissive to have. It's only temporary, but it is highly amusing - and an amusing high.
So I had dinner with a carpenter. Last night we talked on the phone for a delightful hour and a half. I was happy and comfortable and relaxed and we talked about other things before we approached the topic of D/s and sex. He is sweet and funny and does work for theatres, and vaguely knows some people I know from my end of the music world and I just felt that here was someone I could spend time with. I also had fits of shyness when we got onto more intimate topics, which he seemed to find very endearing.
And then it was more of the same at dinner, except there was more talk of sex and spanking than last night, and I talked too much except it seemed to amuse him, as if he were taking mental notes. He's very tall, 6'4". not a typically handsome guy, but not bad looking. Just a man. Only a little younger than I am. And he lingered in the car before coming in, listening to the same story on NPR that had me all excited, about a new theatre project beginning in Brooklyn, Shakespeare and Chekhov, British and American actors, The Old Vic and Sam Mendes. Talk about things that can make me cum...
It was a lovely, comfortable, happy dinner... except for when he made me shy. And I told him I wouldn't have sex with him tonight. I'm trying to be more self-disciplined about handing over my body. But he stroked my hand for a while at the table, and kissed me at the car, and both boded well for a very satisfying time when/if things go further.
But you never get everything. And he's not really into the whole D/s dynamic as I enjoy it. Those darker, more controlling aspects... But it would still be better than a totally vanilla relationship. So we'll see.
And who says I can't date a couple of guys? I'm going to be 60 in a few weeks. It's time to explore. That's what they invented condoms for. I suspect this will be my last wild spell. But my rule will be no sex on the first date. Especially on a school night.... But I suspect when it does happen, the carpenter will be a most satisfactory - and satisfying - lover. And he has big solid carpenter's hands for spanking. And a collection of assorted nipple clamps. Ouch!
But when I said there were certain words that immediately pull me down into subspace, and he asked what, and I got very shy and then finally said, for example. "good girl"... he looked blank. He just doesn't know that part of it, doesn't deal with that part of it. And I crave it. So we'll see. He seems the best so far among the non-married ones. Oh yes. Slowly, one by one, they are coming out as married. Which aside from anything else nixes the idea of having someone to hang out with. Although there is this man who is a founding partner of a group of fine restaurants...
I'm turning 60.
Time to gather rosebuds.
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7 comments:
I just want to say ... that I think you are amazing, and braver than I could be. And I wish, and hope, that your wishes and hopes come true, this year.
~ El
OG, sixty is a great age, just don't weaken.
I'll cheer you on when I have time from my own adventures.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Yay you!! I'm glad to see you feeling sexy and that you are getting to take your pick. *grins* Isn't that so damned good for the ego?!
'But when I said there were certain words that immediately pull me down into subspace, and he asked what, and I got very shy and then finally said, for example. "good girl"... he looked blank. He just doesn't know that part of it, doesn't deal with that part of it. And I crave it. So we'll see'
but maybe he's very good at learning, discovering and exploring... Some are. (papacrow for example :::big grins:::)
Gee,El, I don't know why you think I'm all brave and amazing. I'm more likely, foolhardy and/or headstrong, or acting out. And what ARE my hopes and wishes, anyway? I'm not even sure what I know. Oh, in Fantasyland I do... but those things will never happen.
Go, Paul! I'm thrilled to know you are having adventures. You need to tell us about them sometime. To spur us on.
Oh, Greenwoman, I don't actually feel all that sexy. more tired than anything, and frustrated as my choices turn out to be other than I thought they were.
As for the carpenter, mamacrow - no, I don't think he can learn. He really isn't into that type of power dynamic. he's into somewhat kinky sex - not very kinky, I suspect, and very pleasurable, I also suspect... but what about my dark desires?
I may have to rewrite the ad...
I suppose I meant ... you're putting yourself out there, you're taking chances, you're seeking. Me, I wait for them. Period. I don't ever seek, or approach, not without a direct invitation.
But, well, that doesn't necessarily make you brave, and me ... lily-livered. We're just different, I suppose ...
~ El
I never used to seek and approach. I had this princess on the glass mountain approach. You wait at the summit and somehow these men will both want to and be able to make it to the top.
Ha. Fat chance.
If I ahd to embark on this hunt in any sort of physical way, I'd never do it. But hiding behind my clever words is easy and amusing and, frankly, addicting. I love to see them flocking to me, I love sneering to myself about the unworthies, and I love the excitement of the surprise gifts that yahoo brings me.
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