Friday, January 2, 2009

Revised rules of engagement

There is something between us.
Obviously, he said.
Don't cut yourself off, he said.
You need someone, he said.
You need to be with someone, he said.
I'm in the same place as 3 months ago
and will probably still be there
3 months from now.
I can't promise you anything, he said.
Yes, I know, I said.
Don't cut yourself off, he said.
Promise me, he said.
Yes, sir, I said.
But if I'm waiting outside your door
like a stubborn kitten
fed the odd bowl of milk
which she laps up gratefully
though it gives her diarrhea,
if I'm still there on your door mat
because there is nowhere better to be,
is that ok?
You won't try to chase me away?
No, he said. I won't chase you away.

Thank you, I said.
I feel better now.

And we hung up.

And I whispered three words into the silence.

4 comments:

Elspeth said...

Ah, honey. {{hugs}}

~ El

oatmeal girl said...

yeah... :-)

i knew we just had to get rid of last year. it was soaked in poison. we'll all be doing better soon. you, too, love.

mamacrow said...

'if I'm still there on your door mat
because there is nowhere better to be,
is that ok?
You won't try to chase me away?
No, he said. I won't chase you away.'

weeping great big buckets here. (((HUGS)))

oatmeal girl said...

oh, mamacrow, sounds like my life is what my mom would call a 2-hanky movie. bad news, good news, there's always an excuse for a good cry. hopefully, now there will be more of the happy tears. but it's all a journey, we don't know the road,l so we'll take it one mile at a time.