Summary: had a good time, liked the movie, didn't have sex with him, hope we go out again.
It felt SO good to go out for dinner and a movie! I don't often do this. I don't go out. I miss the company. It's true. Thank you to my very sweet philosopher for taking such good care of me and pushing me to see other people.
I felt no urge to have sex with this guy. There's something too... I don't know... too nervous about him. Too tense somehow, for all he describes himself as this free-living radical. And physically he doesn't attract me. Too old, maybe. I had told the philosopher he was in his mid-40s, but.. well, you know, I've been hearing from so many guys, I can't keep them straight. An ad HE posted said he was 53. but in fact he's 57. Definitely too old...
I had never admitted to my own age. At dinner (after the movie) he asked me to own up. Now that he had seen me I could tell him that I'm a month shy of (damn, I hate writing this) 60. He was very impressed, as everyone is, and shook my hand in admiration.
By the way, the big day is February 9th. I'll need a lot of reassurance. I know it won't make me more than one more day older. I'll still be me. But the number confuses me. So yes, mark the date. I'm not too proud to beg. Especially with the white [ahem...] highlights that are showing up above my ears.
Back to the date. So I'm not attracted to him, and he's too radical for me. And, of course, he's a little weird, but then everyone I have anything to do with is weird. On the other hand, he's smart and interesting and married - so I can be open about the philosopher and, since it's an open marriage and his wife is currently in Spain, there's no sneaking around.
We saw Slumdog Millionaire, which we both thought was very good, but it does have a lot of violence. It felt great to see a movie on a big screen in an actual theatre! And it felt great to get out of the house.
I don't know what else to say. I felt very happy. I've been feeling happy since last weekend. I tried to explain to this guy about the eternal light inside me that is my connection to the philosopher. Everything about our relationship sounds rather odd, it's hard to explain it, hard to create a sensible summary. And of course I didn't mention D/s. But I was out having a good time and being happy, feeling taken care of, and knowing that I could come home and honestly report all that.
That's it.
Nothing more to tell.
Sorry it's not more dramatic.
Even my life can lack drama at times.
What a relief!
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8 comments:
. . . but in fact he's 57. Definitely too old...
Harumph
I'm a month shy of (damn, I hate writing this) 60
In a few days, I will make my third trip past that marker, it will be fine, there is life on the other side.
Happy birthday, and I am glad you got out and had a good time, hugs.
OG, it's your heart and mind that says that you are old, yours doesn't say that at all.
I'm seventy four this year and still living life to the full.
I'm not as fast as I used to be, but I'm determined to enjoy life for as long as possible.
You will also.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
i've always loved the thought of growing older. i've become more and more comfortable with who i am over the years and i continue to grow and change and experience and survive. to me, that's the best feeling.
though, to be fair, perhaps i'll feel differently once i have a couple more decades under my belt.
i'm sure your youth, beauty and heart shine as bright in your person as they do in your writing.
i'm so glad to read that you're feeling more settled and content. :)
well I'm glad you had a nice time. But a nasty cynical voice in my head is saying 'open marrage? yeah right!'
Unless you actually hear the wife saying that, I'd be a little cautious....
as to the big birthday - how wonderful! here's to lots more as you really are living life to the full...
I'm somewhat envious of your white streaks actually, I'm eagerly looking forward to getting grey hairs - I think it looks kinda cool!
"But a nasty cynical voice in my head is saying 'open marrage? yeah right!' Unless you actually hear the wife saying that, I'd be a little cautious...."
Mamacrow, I was going to take a little umbrage to this comment as I am a female in an open relationship, but I took stock of the times I've seen a man's dating profile ticked 'open relationship' and thought, 'Hmmm, does his wife know about his?' :-)
OG, looking back to the sadness and longing in your Christmas posts, and feeling the resilience and optimism in the past few you've posted, I'm so pleased that you are stronger and happier inside x.
woot!!
i hadn't gotten back to read since the new year...sooo glad things are moving forward.
i think it is commendable to be honest about your age...it's quite a challenge. One of the big ones i had to get past when i was deciding if i truly wanted a "real" M/s relationship or just the kinky part ;-)
i am lucky enough(thanks mom!) to be given at least 10 years by anyone that's guessing..so the urge was to hang onto the illusion as long as possible.
Our society is making some progress around women aging and staying sexy...but if i have to see michael douglas in one more leading man role with a co-star young enough to be his daughter (or granddaugher!!) i think i will scream!!
Glad you're happy..i read so many blogs..did you previously cover your experience on fetlife or collar me or any other BDSM site? i haven't heard good things about CM, for the most part, but many seem to like fetlife...sorry if i read it and don't remember!
~nik
thedirtlyblonde - well, I do realise it is a nasty cynical voice!
I know I know, thinking the worse, but so many times have I (to quote Miss Marple) been prooven right!
I'm glad you got out and had a good time. I hope that you will get out some more and maybe you'll find someone you feel like laying. Its good to hear from you. ((big hugs))
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