Sunday, December 7, 2008

Seasonal Affective Dominant

He tries to keep me in bed all day. I struggle, and eventually break away from His chains of indolence, but He tries His best to keep me in bed. He is my Master, at least for now. He force-feeds me seductive carbohydrates, to make me fat and sleepy. He saps my will and dulls my brain. He declares Himself King, with Dominion over all, my Lord and Master whose Power will triumph over all others who pretend to own my body and brain.

I struggle.
I arm myself.
I have my advisors,
my potions and pills,
my magic lights,
my furry familiars
who demand obedience
and eventual breakfast.

But day by day He pulls me under, further down into the grey sea of December. I don't even gasp for air. I give myself to His suffocating love, His yearly attempt to claim me permanently as His own.

I struggle, I moan, I fight my way out of bed, I fight the seduction, and mark off the calendar squares until the day His spell goes up in flames.

On the other hand, it could just be a cold.


Vanessa said...

Ah, you sound so sad and stuck.
I wish you were feeling happy today.....

mamacrow said...

great. and then that last line -

- 'On the other hand, it could just be a cold.'

genius! i love that great big dramatic build up to the throughaway so dry you could choke line. and you did it SO well.

oatmeal girl said...

Thanks, Vanessa, but I'm not actually sad today, despite the SAD. I would have been quite happy staying in bed. No weepy spells, despite the periodic wistful urge to hear the philosopher say "poor kitten..."

Accidental genius, mamacrow. Purely accidental. I wrote almost the whole thing when I got up - or didn't get up, I was still in bed... but didn't post it because something seemed to be missing. I then took pity on the cats, who decided they were starving. Downstairs feeding Marko, I ran into my housemate, who confessed to having uncharacteristically just slept 14 hours. He said he had a cold. I thought of how I felt, of all the people coughing as I ran self-indulgent errands yesterday (books and earrings!) and thought perhaps I had a cold, too. That was it. I added the last line and hit SUBMIT.

My demon muse often points out that I have a tendency to make these little turns, and he enjoys them. I always appreciate having other people teach me what I'm doing!

Paul said...

OG, if it's accidental genius, well you do seem to have a lot of accidents.
Warm hugs,

mamacrow said...

oh paul great comment! and hear hear!

oatmeal girl said...

Oh Paul and mamacrow, the two of you are absolutely delicious. Thank you so much. Somehow you manage to push the clouds apart just enough to let a few rays of sun through.

FYI, turns out it's both a cold AND the SAD. Can't win...

mamacrow said...

oh babe!

(i'm late to comment, i know, but oh (((HUGS)))