I lie here feeling sick and weak.
Bored with feeling sick and weak.
Days and days in bed,
I'm weak but feeling restless. I kick back the blankets and let the draft caress my body. But an invading breeze is not what I need.
I need a girl to lick me.
I need a girl to bury her head between my legs, to push them apart so I know that she is in charge. How good she will make me feel is up to her.
She will make me feel very very good.
Teeth and tongue, lips and fingers,
all are conspiring to make me feel very very good.
I remember being a camp counselor the summer after my freshman year in college. I came down with a very bad summer cold, and could always be seen with a big box of Kleenex. (This was a long time ago. Back before Puffs Plus. The dark ages of facial tissues. Things were rough in those days of the Vietnam War.) One afternoon I went off to some secret empty little cabin and indulged in some very serious petting with one of the other counselors. Male. I didn't know yet... And I discovered a most wonderful thing. Sex can be almost as good as spicy food for clearing nasal passages! I think it must be the endorphins. Even without a spanking.
So I think I need some serious petting - or whatever - with someone new. Someone female. Someone not afraid of my germs. Someone who wants to lick me. And then stop. And lick me some more. And stop. And lick me and lick me and have me begging to be allowed to cum and then, of course, she will have to text the sadist, asking for permission to make me cum.
And he'll say no.
Some things aren't yet clear in my head. I see her being younger than me (that's easy) and pretty. Soft and sweet with pretty tits so that I will love to feel her lying on top of me, rubbing herself into me, and then we will roll over and I will desperately push myself into her and her skin will be soft and her cunt will be wet and she will pinch my left nipple with her right hand and an urgent message will run from that little stab of pain down to my pussy, there must be synapses directly connecting one to the other, and she will be on top of me and hurting my nipple and sinking her teeth into my neck...
When I started writing this, I wasn't sure if I wanted a girl to hurt me. I do want her to be in control. I do want her to lick me. I do want her to hurt me in some standard sexy ways.
I do want her to teach me.
I really am bisexual. It's not just a question of playing around sometimes with women. I am bisexual in that I am not limited by gender as to who will draw me, who will spark my desire, who will inspire my love. Bisexual is a deceptive term, really. It sounds so binary. This or that. This and that. I try to explain it to those who don't understand, who just think it's so sexy and don't really understand. It's like saying that sometimes I'm attracted to a blond. Sometimes I'm attracted to someone dark. Too often, it seems I'm attracted to the Irish... It's something inside as well as outside that draws me, and it doesn't mean that I must have one of each.
Maybe I should just say I'm unbounded.
Open to possibilities.
But it's easier to use standard terminology, I suppose. So yes, I'm bisexual, and I do find women attractive. I have dated one lesbian and one bi woman and fallen in love with one woman who is bi but rejects that part of herself... she broke my heart.
I do get my heart broken much too easily.
But the only one I had a sex life with was that last one, and what we did together was intense and passionate and exploratory and based on the amazing sex we each had with S--, who was seeing both of us but was in love with her. What a mess. But I digress.
Because the point is now. Now as in right this minute. Now as in an hour ago when I was leaving a comment on Saturday's deliberately masturbatory post, a reply to Liras' perfect little comment, and I realized "I think I need a girl to come over and lick me."
Someone sweet and delicious and commanding and experienced, who can teach me and arouse me and lick me and fuck me and teach me to please her and then I'm not sure what. Perhaps tie me to the bed but not hurt me the way the sadist does. A little erotic pain will do, but...
No one can replace my Master.
Still, a sweet young female tongue...