Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Yielding control

A week and a half into my new job, I finally got an e-mail account in my own name. We're a non-profit with a very small paid staff, so we have a tech consultant off-site. I was on the phone with him while he tried to straighten something out, for which he would need to act as if he were sitting in front of my computer, manipulating the cursor, while I would see it moving around on my own screen.

He did whatever he had to do to make this happen, and a screen came up asking a question to which I had to agree.

I had to give him permission to seize control my computer.

Control.

He would take control.

My cunt twitched. As it is twitching now.

Pavlov's dogs couldn't have been trained as well as I have been.

please, master, please don't be jealous. i know how possessive you are. and i love how possessive you are. but he was only controlling my computer. never me. and only for a few minutes. and i was twitching because i am your slave and i glory in your control. i rejoice that i have to watch the clock as it nears 10 am, i rejoice that i have to stop whatever i am doing and be transformed into an alarm clock, i twitched because no matter what i am doing i never stop being your obedient slave kitten and i crave these reminders that sneak into my consciousness at the most surprising times. i twitch, therefore i am. you own me, therefore i am nothing more.

you own me.

1 comment:

marianne said...

I love it. I twitch, therefore I am.