Phone Sex is NOT Obsolete!

I have made a small start on the probably impossible task of rescuing my house from qualifying as a toxic waste dump. Though maybe I should allow that to happen if it means I'd qualify for Federal clean-up funds...

Somewhere I came across the never-read March 16th issue of the Washington Post Magazine, which of course is far inferior to the New York Times magazine. Still, I was stopped from tossing it by a flashing glimpse of the cover story about "objects, habits and attitudes that are sliding into obsolescence." Because what treasured activity were they claiming to be as dead as a dodo? And a castrated, virgin dodo at that?

Phone Sex.

Now the philosopher and I used to have some great e-mail sex. We never stooped so low as to copulate via instant messenger - we are both way too verbal for such a short cut. But what a thrill it was when, in the middle of an excruciatingly hot e-mail session, he suddenly wrote: "Call me." And appended his phone number.

At first he said that we wouldn't use the phone often. It was to be saved for special occasions. But eventually the balance shifted and most of our scenes and love-making and torturously incomplete sadistic foreplay would occur over the phone. The philosopher would have the pleasure of hearing my voice change as I slipped into subspace (although he does say that he can always hear that shift in my written words). And he loves my little moans and whimpers, my pathetically useless pleas, and the loud cries and heaving sobs of the orgasms he grants me. You just can't get those in a text message.

So while I would certainly agree that CAC (Computer-Aided Copulation) has cut into the prevalence of phone sex, I can't agree that it has rendered obsolete what can justifiably share the name of Oral Sex with the more slurpy sort of act.

Anyway, here is the original piece on the topic at hand, plus the link to the complete article. See what you think.

Phone Sex

b. late 1870s -- d. mid-1990s

Once, the number of words you could type per minute was impressive only to an employer. Today, the hunt-and-pecker is seriously handicapped in a much more personal arena: sex.

Thanks to instant- and text-messaging, phone sex is going the way of the VHS. There are just too many advantages to being an SMS or AIM Casanova. You need not worry about phone bills or eavesdropping roommates; images can be swapped quickly or even live; and most IM and text sex can be pursued right at the dinner table or office desk, under the guise of getting homework assignments or checking the human rights situation in China. It's also low effort (even orgasm requires little but holding down a couple of vowel keys and hitting return, then gracefully exiting the situation with a quick BRB or TTYL) and can be saved for later enjoyment (control + c, control + v and voila).

Some are taking it a few steps further. With virtual reality programs such as Second Life, people create avatars of themselves and go on to have illicit affairs and even long-term relationships, often conducted solely with staccato onscreen messages.

Of course, a certain level of intimacy is lost. Giggles are gone; pauses all the more fraught. (Is he transported by passion . . . or IMing another girl concurrently?)

While it's doubtful these media could ever threaten the popularity of the actual act, there's no shortage of people eager to experiment with them. According to a survey conducted in Canada for the site Campuskiss.com, more college students take part in instant-messenger sex than in any kind of telephonic sex.

Because love means never having to say, "Can you hear me now?"

You can read the whole article here.