Playing with Panties

i'm leaving town for a few days, heading north for a visit with my aged parents. i'm not sure what kind of internet access i will have, and whether it can be had with any measure of privacy. but considering the amazing, loving support you have been giving me - even you silent readers since you wouldn't keep coming back if you thought i should be left crying amongst the dust bunnies - i will leave you with a post a day drawn from the archives of teh happier days of our epistolary romance.

today's installment comes from the last couple of weeks leading up to our first physical meeting. i'll try not to dwell too much on that anniversary. it was August 3, 2007, 6 months to the day after we were united electronically by an amazing confluence of Eros and craigslist.

this exchange was on July 17th, beginning shortly before i was due to leave work. it mentions my being able to see his face. we exchanged no photos. it drove me nuts but then i grew to accept it. but then i started feeling guilty for not telling my friends about him (an expurgated version, of course), and was sure that they would ask about a picture and how could i say he wouldn't let me have one? so he took some of himself, and sending it off admitted that one reason he held back was because he doesn't photograph well. the picture certainly doesn't do him justice, i have taken some very lovely ones of him, but at least it gave me an idea.

and oddly enough, after all that, no one asked about it! (the philosopher wouldn't let me send him a picture. he wanted to maintain the mystery.)

read and smile...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

17 July 2007

Take off your panties, kitten. . .as soon as you get this.

(It amuses me that you can now picture my face as you read this. . .)
- - - - - -

yes, sir. i'm so happy to provide you with amusement.

(poor master, you must be so disappointed that i just missed seeing this before leaving work ;-)
- - - - - -

You rode home on the train. . .wearing panties?

Bad kitten!!
- - - - - - -

NOT a bad kitten, because i didn't receive your order until i arrived home. as soon as i saw it i removed my panties immediately.

and you know that. you know how obedient your kitten is. especially when it comes down to taking off her clothes.
- - - - - - - -

Hmmm. . .you should have checked your e-mail before leaving work. The whole thing reeks of rebellion and insubordination. . .

What are you wearing now?
- - - - - - -

I DID check my e-mail before leaving work! Especially because I had your picture open the whole time... (L said that when I invited her to have lunch, saying that i would tell her the story behind the pinhole camera project, that there was this guy... she said I blushed as red as the orangey-red shirt I was wearing..)

which i am still wearing. a very nice t-shirt with southwestern designs on the bottom. and khaki slacks. no panties. yes bra. sandals. the support knee-his. sandals. and a blue apron from the Yiddish Book Center in Amherst. Just finished the dishes. have to grind my coffee for tomorrow, brush my teeth, and get into bed.

sleepy kitty. it was an exciting day.

you are very exciting, my roguish Irish master, my wicked highwayman, my stern poet owner. your eyes bore into me, and hold me, somehow evil and romantic at the same time.

you own me.
- - - - - - -

Yes, I want you in bed and asleep by 10:30 at the very latest. . .

So now all your friends know about me. . .but they don't know the most important thing about me. . .about us. . .although they must wonder why you blush when you talk about me. . .

;-)
- - - - - - -

yes, i will scurry to get to bed, so won't talk long now.

M doesn't know yet, nor does T, but otherwise...

the blush was not because of the BDSM, it was just because...

and while your ownership of me, and your plans for me, may be the most, um unusual thing about you, about us, i don't in fact consider it the most important thing.

it's the connection, the intensity, the mutual obsession, the balance of feelings, how much we share... that's what is so important. the fact that we share dark desires, wild passions, and a need for this kind of relationship - that is in a way a detail. it's the sharing and the balance that is the most important thing. to my little slave mind, in any case. it is a precious and unusual thing and we are incredibly lucky.

we found out today that someone from our greater community died.

facts are scare, and the grapevine isn't working as well as usual. but deaths without details make me wonder about suicide. and unexpected loss reminds me to treasure what i have while i have it...

like a wild-haired Irish philosopher whose gaze makes me feel weak...
- - - - - - -

I'm sorry to hear about that. . .and you're right: it's a reminder to gather ye kittens while ye may.

I'm very glad I'm coming to see you. . .
- - - - - - -

mmm...

very glad.

(almost ready for bed... admittedly late, but getting there.. i DO try! honest!! and without you i wouldn't be in bed till after midnight, for no good reason at all...)
- - - - - - -

Almost?!?

Open rebellion. . . !
- - - - - - -

NOT rebellion.

simple failure...
- - - - - - -

I get to punish you, either way.

;-)
- - - - - - -

nasty man...

well i'm in bed. do your worst...
- - - - - - -

My worst? That's to make you wear a nightgown. . .no sleeping naked for naughty kittens!

But since it is late. . .and you really really tried. . .I will just send you off to sleep. . .

with images of rough hempen chord. . .and dripping wax. . .and a cruel master, whose face you now know. . .but who still has some hidden depth of cruelty to unleash. . .
- - - - - - -

thank you for being kind, master, and for saving your cruelty for when you can unleash it in person.

oddly, when we were coming home on the Metro, L realized she was still wearing the lanyard around her neck with her key card, and took it off saying "oh, i can take off my leash now!" i smiled to myself...

weren't you going to send me the url for the place you bought the rope from? you do keep forgetting your promises, master, you are quite distracted i think. what happened to that wicked phone message you promised? maybe while i'm away...

i do hope you are getting work done on you dissertation, and not getting caught up in logical knots...

i am so glad after all that i know your face, and have hints of your body... there is still some mystery, there is still threat, but there is also a sense of reassurance... i will be very happy looking at that face, and will feel very comfortable. in pain... ;-) but comfortable.
- - - - - - -

You're right kitten. . .I had forgotten. Here it is:

http://www.twistedmonk.com/

They have interesting products, and some very nice videos demonstrating various ties. Look at them; maybe you can pick one you'd like to try. . .although I'm warning you, I get final decision and I already have some ideas. . .;-)

The message. . .once again, I forgot. It's this weather. . .oppressive heat turns my mind to mush.

But this weekend, if you leave your phone off, I will leave a message that will make my kitten purrrrr. . .
- - - - - - -

thank you, master. i will leave my phone off except if you want me to call you. and i will call you Friday morning - tho not from the
beautiful little 3rd floor room which i consider mine, because it
doesn't have an air conditioner and your kitten is a wimp. i think
redheads weren't made to deal well with heat.

except your heat... i was destined to deal with your heat.
- - - - - - -

Good kitten.

And now, to sleep.

A new face will haunt your dreams. . .and inflame your body. . .
- - - - - - -

mmm... a face... and a cane... and ropes... (what color did you order...?)

good night, master.
and thank you for doing your best to take care of me. in spite of my best efforts to thwart you.
- - - - - - -

Good night, kitten. . .